I need opinions...
My child’s father is in a new relationship (has been since I found out I was pregnant .. my announcement to him was I was pregnant, his announcement to me was he was in a new relationship) and I just want opinions on when is it appropriate to introduce your child to your SO.. idk I just don’t want to confuse my child or really introduce until they are older especially if this chick is temporary (idk if she is).
Also when is it okay to start dating again? I’m not in a rush at all b/c I need to heal a lot from my last relationship but like when did other single pregnant moms start dating after their separation/break-up?
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Thank you for sharing this! this is pretty much exactly what happened to me as well! I’m at the point where I don’t keep him informed either. We also had an angel baby back in October 2017. This makes me feel so much better and bless her and baby Raven.
@livingwithmariah I'll pass that along. And God bless you! You are stronger than you think and karma ALWAYS gets the last word girl. 👏
I don't have much advice to give on the situation, but I do know you're allowed to say you don't want her coming to the hospital or seeing the baby during your stay. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable during that time and he should respect that. I would just inform the nurses upon your arrival dad may show up but only he is welcome to visit or come in. They won't allow his girlfriend in if you say you don't want her there. She can wait in the waiting area for him to be done.
Yes I know. I’ve talked with my OB and she informed me which made me feel much better.
@livingwithmariah Okay good. I just wanted you to know that if you didn't! Sending positive vibes your way. I'm sure this is stressful for you. 💜
I’ve been single since I found out I was pregnant with my son. At the moment, I feel I could stay single forever. Who knows if that changes. I wouldn’t introduce my kids to my SO for at the very least a year.
That’s the time frame I was looking at. I honestly feel the same exact way rn.
If you do decide to date again and the guy is still around when the child is born I think it's only fair for the dad's SO to meet the child as well (if he's ready for it). I met my husband's son 6 months into the relationship but we were serious by then. He told me he was ready for me to meet his son and it went from there.
Even if I start dating I don’t plan on letting my SO meet my child until i know it’s super serious. I’m unsure how Serious they will be by the time my baby is born but even if they are I still think it should wait bc the child was just born. You know?
@livingwithmariah definitely! Everyone isn't supposed to meet your kids.
I don't think children being introduced to new partners is the best thing to do until they are clearly in it for the long term but as for dating you do that when you feel ready no one can tell you it's wrong just leave the kids out of it for a while.
If you guys aren’t together you no longer get to make the decision of when he chooses to introduce his girlfriend to your child unfortunately. I personally if I found myself single. I would not introduce my kids until the relationship was headed towards marriage. Either an engagement or at the very least a long term commitment like living together.
Yeah.. But I think it’s a respect thing that we should at least be on the same page and agree on a time frame. I know he would definitely feel some type of way if I started dating and immediately introduced my SO. I agree with you on when they should meet but everyone doesn’t think like us.
@livingwithmariah, oh totally. But if he doesn’t like what you want. You unfortunately won’t get a say in that. Hopefully he agrees. But he may not. And you should prepare for that. Just in case.
@squishymommy1, that’s what I’m going to do. He is unpredictable and I just have to be okay with it.
I don’t think a child should be introduced to a new partner for a while. There’s no standard time. Wait until after the baby is born. If she’s still around and they are making moves towards the future I say it’s fine. That’s a talk y’all should have and be on the same page. As far as you dating. I think whenever you’re ready. Again not everyone should meet the baby. There isn’t a time period that makes it ok. Whenever you feel up to it.
Definitely agree. I tried telling him that she won’t be coming to any baby shower or gender reveal or even the hospital when I give birth. I don’t think he understands but then again he’s also not really present and hasn’t been throughout this pregnancy. He claims to be trying to build a solid foundation with her to bring (our child) into. Idk I just don’t like the way things are going... We aren’t on the same page about anything and don’t really speak 🤷🏻♀️
@livingwithmariah, just some friendly advice from someone who’s been coparenting for 11+ years. You can’t control them. You can’t keep a child from them because you don’t like the decisions they make. You have to put your pride aside ALOT and focus on what’s best for the child. If she’s going to be around you need to make it a point to get to know her. You need to see who’s going to be around your child. It took a lot of long drawn out fights to realize not everything is going to go my way and not everything is worth a fight. Leave the door open for him to be a part of his child’s life. Pick and choose your battles. This man will be in your life forever. Not just the next 18 years. Hopefully y’all get to the point where you all can go places together. The main goal of coparenting is basically being friends. It shows a child that even though mommy and daddy didn’t workout they can still have a relationship.
@bigmama18, i tried getting to know her and she blocked me. I don’t put in any effort with them two anymore bc for a good month and a half I did everything and tried to constantly be the understanding one and putting him and his feelings before my own. It slowly drove me crazy and I’m just getting out of that. The door is wide open he just doesn’t use it. He’s really focused on this new relationship and so I just leave them alone and do it by myself. That’s exactly what I hope for too but you know it’s a two person job to create and build that.
@livingwithmariah exactly... if he chooses not to be a part of the babies life then be doesn't deserve rights to the baby. He needs to step up now not later...
@ladyblauvelt, I agree but sadly the law doesn’t look at it like that smh.
@livingwithmariah oh I know that, if he wants to be part of the babies life then he can go to court and you can arrange a custody agreement and you can get child support then. It's the easiest way to deal with it... court ordered custody agreement and make sure you get child support, especially if he's choosing not to be there for you during pregnancy
Honestly, I had a friend who went through this years ago. They had been dating for 2 years, had their baby girl at 19 weeks (baby is an angel now) well, 6 months after she got pregnant again and when he came home from work he told her that he had met someone new awhile ago, and wanted to persue the relationship with the new girl. All said before she even got the words out to announce they were expecting. After she told him, (while hes packing his things) he told her that the new relationship meant more and he didn't want to be reminded of her anymore. Kaylin and her son Raven are now 3 years forward and she never even kept him updated on the pregnancy or informed him of anything to do with their son. I thought what she was doing was kind of petty, but then she explained to me that if a new woman was more important than their child whether they stayed together or not, then it wasnt her responsibility to make him be Raven's dad. Last I heard, the guy is married to that girl and she cheated on him and is pregnant with that person's baby so I guess karma worked itself out. Not sure if this helps or not. Don't know your situation but I thought I'd share. If he wants to be involved in the baby's life, then I'd personally not let his gf anywhere near my child until I knew they were seriously serious.