Looking back 6 weeks ago tomorrow there I was in recovery post c-section holding Elora and doing my…

Looking back 6 weeks ago tomorrow there I was in recovery post c-section holding Elora and doing my best Judd Nelson Breakfast Club ending fist pump to try to show my man I was ok. The drugs were strong and the endorphins were stronger, I felt powerful and terrified, in love and scared. It was a mush of emotions. These past 6 weeks with Elora have been challenging as newborns are unrelenting opponents, breastfeeding is a million times harder than anyone told me and the post surgery pain has been unreal. But of course there is all this love, this overwhelming and exhausting love only a new baby can give. I have also cried over bleeding nipples, spilled breast milk, all night baby cry-a-thons and tv commercials. I am so grateful for my rainbow baby but I am not ashamed to say it is hard being a new mommy again. Ladies don't let anyone make you feel bad for struggling because motherhood is not a destination, its a journey, it is magical but it is not perfect.