I got a question for people in blended families. My Freind is overly emotional. I mean cry’s about spilled milk she’s dating my other friend that has 2 kids and his baby mama is...

Alexia Dahlin

I got a question for people in blended families. My Freind is overly emotional. I mean cry’s about spilled milk she’s dating my other friend that has 2 kids and his baby mama is a nightmare so I give her that. But today she texted me complaining that her boyfriends baby mama texted him today how are the kids because he had them and she says it’s unnecessary. And she just has to find ways to talk to him and blah blah blah and I told her if you can’t handle her and the responsibility of being a step mom (she wants to marry him) maybe your not cut out to be with someone that has kids. Am I right or was I to harsh? I feel like she gets mad if they even breath the same sit mind you his baby mama wants nothing to do with him other then the kids she’s married and has another kid

02.03.2019

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Your exactly right! I’ve been dealing with the baby mom from hell but at the end of the day it’s about the kids and their always going to have to communicate. Now I do set boundaries because she has tried to do some slick shit and though I didn’t know about it but my husband let me handle her. But other than that your friend needs to cut ties if she can’t handle the fact that they literally have to speak with each other

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sarahmartinez817

I think you were totally right for saying that. My mom was like that with my dad's son from his first marriage, could never get along with my half brother or his mom and expected my dad to have the least possible interaction with his ex wife, even when it was obviously bad for my half brother.

My half brother (justifiably) resents the hell out of her and it's ruined his relationship with our father because my dad let it happen. And even if my dad never says much about it, you can tell he's never really forgiven her for it either, even though they're still together.

If your friend isn't willing to be supportive of what his child needs from him, it's not going to end well for anyone in the long run.

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noahsmommy_

i use to be like her with my fiance but also theres a reason why i acted that way there was some things going on with them while we were dating not living together and thays when the trusy stopped but eventually he proved himself that nothing is goinf on it was the baby mama causing problems and lies about alot of things she does call all the time txts all the time but he just ignores why cuz he doesnr have hos daighter hell only respond when its an emergency shes always asking for money when she gets child support shes always complaining about there daughter..there should be a reason why she feels that way..

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mrs.dahlin

There is no reason other then she was sensitive before they started dating and I told her the same thing over and over you can’t handle being with someone that has to talk to his ex I know you

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noahsmommy_

@mrs.dahlin, oh than she shouldnt be acting that way as longest they talk about the kids she shouldnt worry about anything i been in her situation...it will cause alot of trust and problems in her relationship why cuz i had them..i was told as well if i cant handle it than i should leave but you werent harsh she gotta hear it because she will habe problems with her bf and its gona be fights and fights all the time when he isnt doing no wrong...i had trust issues and be mad because of the things he has done with his baby mamas he has two baby mamas and i got history and bad past with them its hard but eventually it got all fixed...and one of his baby mamas does talk about there past when they were dating that when i but in and had to set her straight bu if your friends bf is t disrespecting and isnt doing nothing wrong she shouldnt even worry

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chelseaz

You’re totally right. I’m a stepmom to 3. I feel like as long as text messages and phone conversations are about the kids, there shouldn’t be a problem. If I got mad every time my husband talked to his ex wife about their kids, I would be upset quite often. They communicate regularly (2-3 times a week) about the kids, as they should! That relationship won’t last long if she continues down that path....

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mrs.dahlin

That’s what i told her. She was even mad that with his taxes she gave his baby mom 2500$ out of 10,000 and he didn’t get her a ring instead like honey he has bills to pay and kids to take care of first

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chelseaz

@mrs.dahlin, yep, the kids come first 🤷🏼‍♀️ being a stepparent isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and not fully understanding the responsibility of raising kids will only make it worse. Wait until they get married and she realizes even their weekend plans are dictated by the the parenting plan and the kids schedules...I can’t even make plans in advance without communicating with his ex wife to make sure everything is coordinated and in the best interest of all the kids. I’m definitely not complaining though. I chose this life and I personally love it. ❤️

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mrs.dahlin

@chelseaz, that’s what a good mother and woman does not cry anytime his ex calls or text to talk about his kids

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meaux

She's just gonna have to get over her insecurities asap or that won't last long

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mrs.dahlin

Right

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squishymommy1

If mom of kids is not being intrusive and texting in a normal ( not obsessive manner) and only about the kids. There should be no issue. They share children. Does your friend have kids?

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squishymommy1

@mrs.dahlin, he’s going to dumb her if she can’t get it together. No parent is would put up with it 🤷🏼‍♀️

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mrs.dahlin

@squishymommy1, i hope so because the way it looks now I don’t think he will he has to ask her about going anywhere or doing anything with his kids not even her kids

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squishymommy1

@mrs.dahlin, oh that for sure won’t last 😆

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j.luciano

Nope, you're absolutely right. If the child's mother doesn't want anything to do with him, she shouldn't worry about it.

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mrs.dahlin

I feel bad for being so upfront but she can’t deal with seeing the mother of the kids so what are you going to do about games and other stuff? Not be a supportive parent because you can’t put your emotions away to be one. I freaking envy woman that get postpartum and still are like you know what I’m getting help and I’m going to be strong for my kid but she can’t do it for her “step kids” it kills me

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