Moms I need your help and advice. My son will be turning 4 in December. My fiance's son will be 4 in…
Moms I need your help and advice.
My son will be turning 4 in December.
My fiance's son will be 4 in April.
My son has been socialized with kids of all ages, he's used to younger babies (me and my mom babysat for a bit so he's used to sharing attention.) My fiances son on the other hand can't stand sharing attention. He will do whatever possible to make sure he has your attention at all costs. He'll hit, kick, scream, beat up my son, whatever he has to do to get the attention. Time out hasn't stopped any of the acting out. Talking with him hasn't. Nothing.
Well I told my fiance we need to get this under control before the baby is here because who knows what he'll do to the baby if he's already beating on my son. (He thinks it is hilarious). My son is excited and understands there's going to be a baby, he loves helping organize the baby stuff and pick stuff out. His son has no interest at all. I brought up the idea of letting both of our kids pick something out for the baby but he said his son would just pick something out for himself, so what's the point.
I'm so frustrated, overwhelmed, lost. I don't know what to do.
sherry S·
Kids just like adult need boundaries and by his Father laughing at his bad behavior tells him (meaning to a child go ahead keep on with whatever your doing) kids need rules ,He needs xtra hugs and praise also he is probably confused and jealous of your son ,start small pick your toy up,then he does it say good job and maybe next okay it’s your turn with this toy put a timer on when it beeps okay now it’s your brothers turn and when he does it no complaining give a sticker ;) my 1 st son was my only child for 7yrs he was taught to share young as a toddler
Amber Hollifield··
Мама сына (3 года), беременна (29 нед.)
I meant to say that my fiances child laughs at harming others. We've done a significant amount of praise over everything he does well, and more. He expects to always get his way when he's good. He'll ask if he's been good and if you say yes, he'll instantly ask for a donut, go to subway, McDonald's, for cookies, etc. His mom let's his do whatever whenever and gives him anything he wants to make him go away.
We praise for cleaning up toys, eating all their supper, using manners, using the bathroom, behaving in church, etc. We make sure one doesn't get more attention than the other, or one gets away with something and the other doesn't. We make sure it's all consistent and fair between the both of them.
He will act out to gain more attention and have everyone focusing on just him. If he goes to time out in his room (recommended by counselor) he will SCREAM for more than 15 minutes straight. Once we allow him back downstairs his behavior continues.
We've done one on one time. I've tried doing alone time with him (so he knows I care about him the same I do my own son) and he'll be good in those moments. But the moment he loses the 100% attention. He's done.
sherry S··
thanks I understand sound s frustrating
Amber Hollifield··
Мама сына (3 года), беременна (29 нед.)
it is. I wish I could figure out WHAT to do. This kid is so smart for being almost 4 (too smart honestly. Has the mind of a 5 or 7yo) and I just want him to be loving and not mean. I'm terrified of what will happen once the baby is here and he sees the baby having everything done for them while he doesn't have our full attention.
It's going to be a stressful mess in a few montha.
Mandy·
I feel like you've posted this once before if I'm not mistaken. I agree with what everyone else is saying. He's four and doesn't understand the difference and to be honest this is normal behavior for kids with parents that aren't together whether they're 4 or 14. Maybe get him into counseling to help him deal and be patient with him. Some older siblings are excited for new babies some aren't. What his mother does at her house is out of your control. My daughter is defiant and pushing her boundaries because that's what four year olds do. Be consistent. Tell reward him for good behavior and correct negative behavior he'll come along eventually.
Madi M.·
Have you tried a behavior chart with him? You'd have to do it for both boys as to not make him feel singled out but it may help if he asks for rewards for being good. At that age he probably doesn't understand why there's different rules at each house and if mom won't help maybe finding a system where it's not so different will help. Obviously don't reward for every little thing but make him earn 10 stickers and then take him to one of his favorite places, just him! Try and get on his level as hard as that sounds. He may not be excited about the baby now but he may just be feeling left out and confused. Keep talking to him and try to get him excited. Instead of taking him to a store to pick something for the baby maybe have him color the baby some pictures or make a little project for the baby. Keep trying and stay positive. I can't imagine how difficult that must be! 💜