Let me set the scene, I’ll need a lot of positive energy and good vibrations for this one: had a…
Let me set the scene, I’ll need a lot of positive energy and good vibrations for this one: had a meeting this a.m. about my first child’s sperm donor. Making sure address phone etc. are up to date. I finally get a confirmation that she indeed has an older sibling living in the next city we have never met. I’m not sure if SD(sperm donor) has interaction with child #1. I learned about child #1 when I opened our case about 3 years ago, but finally got a confirmed gender and age of my child’s older sibling. Is it my place to allow her to know this information? And do I introduce that info to her?SD hasn’t seen her on his own in many many many moons and I feel that’s his job, but how you gonna do your job when you don’t even show up? Normally I don’t talk this much, but I’ve had this dark cloud for a very long time. I’m glad I got solid answers, but what’s some advice for the next step? cause I can’t be alone in the world with this problem.
Rikki🌙·
I think I would definitely let her know about the sibling
ImmaculatePip·
How do you start that conversation? She’s going to confused,excited, cry(maybe)? I’d rather be honest and her thank me in the end rather than not trust and have resentment in our future. My baby girls are precious but tough little flowers.😞🧐🤯
Rikki🌙··
I'd just sit her down and explain it. She might have varied emotions but at least you were honest with her about it and can maybe give her the opportunity to know her sister.
Sparkling Jewels·
I’d tell her. But you might also consider contacting the siblings parents and find out if they would be open to the children meeting... they may not want their child to know for whatever reason but you don’t want to set your daughter up for heartache if the she wants to meet the sibling but can’t.
Sparkling Jewels·
I say “parents” because the sibling may have a very active step father.
Cams ·
Wait is this a sperm donor or a past relationship/hookup? I ask because people use the phrase loosely. I think of sperm donor as in you go to a bank and get inseminated with a strangers sperm. Or someone you know donating their sperm without a romantic relationship. Anywho.... I would contact the mother of the other child and see if a relationship can be cultivated between the children. Your daughter is too young to understand she has a sibling and then cannot meet said sibling. IMO. If the other girls mom doesn’t want to communicate with you, I would wait until she’s older to tell her. That way she can understand more at a mature level later on.
ImmaculatePip··
It was a brief relationship. I give him that title because that’s about the only contribution he has given to my village.
Shay·
I would contact the siblings parent/s first before anything. Ask if there will be the chance of a relationship between them to be established. If yes, go through with telling her she has an older brother or sister. If no, wait until she's older or not at all.
It hurts to know you have another sibling that you can't meet. I went 15 years knowing I had an older brother who I couldn't meet due to his family and then him not wanting to ever see me after he hit 18 and could decide for himself.
Rhiannon Davis·
Definitely agree you should contact the siblings parents first to sound out the idea of them meeting. Otherwise it could lead to a lot of heartache for your child. I do believe she has the right to know eventually, but better to know where you stand with the other family so you can decide whether now is the right time.