Good afternoon ladies & Happy Valentine’s Day 🥰
This is my first post so I’m new to this whole thing and it’s kind of just to vent but also looking for advice on how to handle this as well...
My boyfriend and I just had our first baby.. she will be 3 weeks old on Sunday and we’re both absolutely in love and blessed. But his mother just seems to be so overbearing at times... she used to be a NICU nurse so she’s got the mentality that she knows everything about babies which can come in handy but she’s also super annoying about it and feels the need to remind us all the time. When my daughter was in the hospital she always had a comment to make about the way the nurses did things. Even before my daughter was born she always wants to be in our business which my boyfriend has told her numerous times to stay out but she doesn’t listen. I feel like she’s always telling me what to do with my baby and how to do things and I can’t stand it because she’s my daughter, not hers. I breastfeed my daughter and when people are around I will feed her a bottle that I have already pumped and his mother will always tell me to put her on my breast and she refused to leave the delivery room when I was having my daughter (which she was never suppose to be in there in the first place... she said she just came in to say hi and see how I was doing and when it was time to push and my boyfriend was telling her to leave she didn’t want to). She doesn’t understand that it makes me feel uncomfortable for her to around when I would be at doctors appointments and they are doing a vaginal exam, or in the delivery room, and even pulling my breast out to feed my daughter around people (although i know it’s normal I’m just new to all of this) she thinks because she is a nurse that it doesn’t matter but I’m not comfortable with my boyfriends mother seeing me in situations like that. My own mother doesn’t even do this to me. I know it’s her first grandchild so she’s excited and I understand that but she texted me yesterday asking to babysit this weekend so my boyfriend and I could do something. Don’t get me wrong I totally appreciate the offer but it’s not like we had plans to do something and I don’t really want to leave my daughter alone with anyone yet anyway, but she keeps mentioning it making me feel like I have to do something saying she’s “the best babysitter there is.” I told her she’s more then welcome to come see the baby this weekend but that I was not going out anywhere and would be home. I guess I’m just looking for some way for her to understand how overbearing she is and how frustrating and uncomfortable it is for me. My boyfriend and I have both told her before my daughter was born that she needs to back off (she tracks my boyfriends location on his phone), so it’s not like she doesn’t know she’s doing it but now that my daughter is born she acts like this even more.
Any advice would be appreciated 💕