It's more about intensity and progression. Surely you remember what the contractions felt like with your 9 yr old? BH is painless tightening and often stops with change in position or activity. True contractions will increase in pain and intensity over time.

BH is just tightness they shouldn't be painful at all. If a contractions stops you in your tracks then you are having them.

Contractions are suppose to be painful and BH just uncomfortable