I need some advice mommy’s! My daughters father and I had split while she was 7 months. She lives…
I need some advice mommy’s! My daughters father and I had split while she was 7 months. She lives with him but we have joint custody. It’s a struggle getting her to my house. She flips out every time. I get she’s comfortable being there but it makes me so sad. Sometimes she tells me she’s mad at me. She’s 3. Her father and I don’t have a very good relationship because it seems as though he can’t get over the break up. He brings our daughter in the mix. Looking for some advice, tips? I should probably mention they let her rule the house. With me she doesn’t get anything unless she deserves it, for example: if she’s being bad she doesn’t get a new toy. Over there, she gets whatever she wants. Help!!!
boys.everywhere·
Мама троих детей
How often does she go to your house?
Heaven Skye··
Мама дочки (3 года)
She doesn’t come very often. Every time I try to pick her up to come with me she cries saying she’s scared and they don’t make her come with me. They would rather me stay there to spend time with her and I don’t want to do that because shes my daughter and i feel like I shouldn’t have to?
boys.everywhere··
Мама троих детей
honestly I would just suck it up and spend time with her there until she feels more comfortable with you. Seeing her on a more regular basis will probably help too. I don't blame them for not making her go if she says she's scared. I wouldn't send my sons with their dad if they said they were scared. Maybe take some fun games or toys over there to play with her a few times until she feels more comfortable?
Heaven Skye··
Мама дочки (3 года)
even when she comes with me comfortably, the next time she comes she says she’s scared and doesn’t like my “friend” as in my girlfriend. It’s like every time I bring her back, the next visit she doesn’t want to come back.
Mandy·
How often do you see her? At this age they recommend short and frequent visits until the child gets comfortable then you should increase it.
Mandy··
@heavenly.skyyye do you have a court order?
Heaven Skye··
Мама дочки (3 года)
yes I’m supposed to have her 5 days out of the week. But I work full time and he doesn’t so he “babysits”
Mandy··
interesting. Sounds like you should just visit there consistently for the time being for the sake of your child. It will only take a few weeks before she gets used to you.
Mandy·
Can you meet somewhere neutral like the park or the library. I agree if the visits aren't regular enough you can get frustrated and upset when she does. It's kind of a grin and bear it situation for now. They are correct forcing her out of her environment at that age will only make the situation worse. Go to her or find a place in between for now
Heaven Skye··
Мама дочки (3 года)
The father doesn’t drive but the others in the house have a car, he just isn’t trying to make an effort to meet somewhere. But thank you!