If you argue about money, having a third party that uses that resource can become an added stress to who’s contributing and who isn’t or how much.
Priority becomes the child, not dates, not sex, not dinner, child comes first and that can challenge personal priority in a man or a women.
Love takes on a new meaning for a man after a child. Mom already has compassion to share and a baby takes most of it but for dad who’s only loved one women or two (his mom) it now means he must protect you, his kid and his mom.
That means he has to constantly challenge himself to split the difference and that takes a big toll as far as guilt. Is he giving enough? Is HE enough?
Men either rise to the position of dad or find they aren’t ready to handle the added stress.
It changes a relationship because you add a third party that now needs the love you shared only with each other, the dedication and the responsibility.
Some guys never found their place with their partner and decide they won’t find their place with the child either.
Some guys know their place in the relationship and know what needs to be given to a child.
I also wanted to add, that for us, things change. We no longer can tolerate someone who does what they want. We want a partner. If we didn't push for one before, after a kid we want an equal partnership. We also view that partnership differently sometimes.
Also mental health. Both partners deal with a huge change to their mental health. Moms also deal with the physical issues pregnancy, birth, and recovery leaves.
Couples also deal with a huge loss of freedom. You go from only having to get yourself fed, clothed, washed, cared for.... to having a whole new fragile and helpless little person to care for. And let's face it, people only wan to "help" when its convenient for them and only if baby is happy. Almost no one comes over at 2am to do your laundry or take the crying baby for a walk to help it sleep.
So it changes alot.
For us, both kids have left us dealing with mental health issues. Not counting the lack of real support or time. My husband definitely didn't realize how much time he spent out of the house until our oldest arrived. And when our second arrived he was shocked at how busy life is when you are home with a baby.
Its been a whirl wind and we both are changing and growing. We both have to find out what will work for us. We both parent differently as well. Which has been an adjustment
Запись из каналаОтношения
Chantal Reeves ·
Мама сына (5 лет)
Cause it's no longer just you and him. You have a little human that needs care 24 7
Victoria ·
Because instead of your focus being on your partner, it’s in the baby.
Victoria ··
Plus the lack of sleep, changes in routine, changes in priority.
Kate ·
It tests the strengths of a relationship.
If you argue about money, having a third party that uses that resource can become an added stress to who’s contributing and who isn’t or how much.
Priority becomes the child, not dates, not sex, not dinner, child comes first and that can challenge personal priority in a man or a women.
Love takes on a new meaning for a man after a child. Mom already has compassion to share and a baby takes most of it but for dad who’s only loved one women or two (his mom) it now means he must protect you, his kid and his mom.
That means he has to constantly challenge himself to split the difference and that takes a big toll as far as guilt. Is he giving enough? Is HE enough?
Men either rise to the position of dad or find they aren’t ready to handle the added stress.
It changes a relationship because you add a third party that now needs the love you shared only with each other, the dedication and the responsibility.
Some guys never found their place with their partner and decide they won’t find their place with the child either.
Some guys know their place in the relationship and know what needs to be given to a child.
Sorcha·
Like the other moms said above.
I also wanted to add, that for us, things change. We no longer can tolerate someone who does what they want. We want a partner. If we didn't push for one before, after a kid we want an equal partnership. We also view that partnership differently sometimes.
Also mental health. Both partners deal with a huge change to their mental health. Moms also deal with the physical issues pregnancy, birth, and recovery leaves.
Couples also deal with a huge loss of freedom. You go from only having to get yourself fed, clothed, washed, cared for.... to having a whole new fragile and helpless little person to care for. And let's face it, people only wan to "help" when its convenient for them and only if baby is happy. Almost no one comes over at 2am to do your laundry or take the crying baby for a walk to help it sleep.
So it changes alot.
For us, both kids have left us dealing with mental health issues. Not counting the lack of real support or time. My husband definitely didn't realize how much time he spent out of the house until our oldest arrived. And when our second arrived he was shocked at how busy life is when you are home with a baby.
Its been a whirl wind and we both are changing and growing. We both have to find out what will work for us. We both parent differently as well. Which has been an adjustment