WARNING: This blog is very long.
I don't normally partake in "gender equality" conversations (because they don't really approve anything and people can be nasty about it) but something that always bothered me growing up as a woman is that the adults are always protective when it comes to the girls. I'm talking about topics like sex or puberty. These days, most people want to tell their little girls about their periods right before their 12th birthday and teach them safe sex when they're around 13-16. But here's the thing: most men I've talk to say they learned about that kinda stuff when they were about 10 y.o, 8 at the youngest. And a lot of women I met didn't learn anything until their early teen years. It's the same thing with other things like curfews. Girls always seemed to have early curfews like 8 pm, while boys can stay out at 9 or even 10. Some of you out there may tell me "They're only protective because they don't want their daughters to sleep around or getting pregnant at a young age." Yes. I get that, but 1: If your daughter IS sleeping around especially unprotected, that's more of the lack of educating her on safe sex and 2: Boys can be just as promiscuous and get someone pregnant.
"What kind of parent teaches their son about sex at age 8?!" No. What I ment was parents are very restrictive when it comes to their daughters but don't bother to do the same with their sons. This doesn't mean they're neglective, I think it's because they're not worried about them getting pregnant.
"This is ridiculous. Of course I would apply the same rules to my sons as I do to my daughters. It's common sense." And you know what, that's awesome but I was born and raised in the south. That means a lot of my parents and elders are very traditional, meaning that they believe in things like women always tend to the house and should have dinner ready by the time their husband gets home, boys should never hit girls, etc. This doesn't mean they're uptight or sexist, that's just the way they grew up and don't know any other life. That why I wanted to write this because I know there are other people who grew up like this.
"So, what's your point?" My S.O and I came to an agreement that our daughters should have as much freedom as our sons or our sons should have the same restrictions as our daughters. And of course we would teach them the important details about growing up. What do you think? Am I right about all this or am I thinking too much about something that doesn't matter?
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First: it's not ok to teach 8 yr olds about sex and puberty? I think that's very responsible of a parent. Taking into account the mental maturity of said 8 yr of course.
Another: it's no argument in my household, boys are as restricted as girls, girls are as free as boys, although, we're more on the restricting scale. I'd be upset if my daughter ends up a teenage mother, I'd be upset if my son ends up a teenage father. I could be put on child support 😱 for kids that aren't mine.
Also, I don't have a daughter, but I do believe what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
@arcaneheart94 I explained women make eggs and men make seeds. That when in love with someone u have sex and it's not hurting each other. He was finding out anyways online and knew most of it already as I went to the sites he was reading and they had pictures of how it worked. So I wasnt going to leave it at that and explained. He gets it and knows now. I dont think it was a wrong time to tell or explain it. Hes in grade 3/4 split here and grade 4s were sent a letter home saying sex ed is started in grade 4 which hes in. Next year in grade 5 they learn it all
@chadandtanya14 woah. I didn't even know what a condom was until I was 13
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@arcaneheart94 ya it's pretty crazy. He was a little too interested in the womens body as well. I'm his step mom but has been raising him full time since he was 4 his bio mom gets him once a year as she lives on the other side of canada. He explained that she would change and shower in front of him and I noticed he would try to come in the bathroom when I showered or I left the door open a crack and hes in the kitchen watching me in the bathroom mirror. When I would change my daughter he would like run to watch me change her. I found it very uneasy and unsettling and had to go deep into the talk of privacy, private parts, touching, looking and so on. Was such a weird convo but had to be done.
I don’t have daughters, so perhaps my input it invalid. I think the bigger problem lies in the thinking “boys will be boys” and also telling girls that “they just like you” when boys pick on them. It grooms boys I to thinking they can get away with certain things, because they are boys. It groom girls into accepting bad behavior and thinking that it’s normal. Kids are learning about sex earlier and earlier, not from their parents maybe, but they are learning it. They aren’t uneducated, they may be more educated now than they’ve ever been,but they are misled. Sex isn’t nearly as “special” as it used to be and it’s causing problems.
I agree. I think that's more at fault of internet use but that's a whole other conversation
I don't agree with the "boys will be boys," talk. I remember the first time I heard it, and I'm still disgusted with being said today, children will be children, and as such, should be held accountable for their action. This bothers me, because you are right, saying that gives a pass for unacceptable behavior, while girls are held more responsible
I was 9 when I started my period so I knew some things like what female parts were but I never knew about what male parts were until later on. I’m extremely protective over my son and if I have a girl I’ll treat her just the same, they’ll have the same rules, and be told the same things at the same age, and they aren’t allowed to date until they’re 16, and they aren’t allowed to have cell phones until they’re 16. I don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl if you live under my roof then you have the same rules and you get treated the same.