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I actually been thinking of moving in with my dad or grandmother because I do not want to become my mom and start mentally or physically abusing them. I already feel like I lash out on them too much. I know they deserve better because they are children. And because I love them so much I don't want to see them hurt or hate me when I go through these rollercoasters. But I don't hate being mom. I just wish I was a better one without mental health issues.
Perhaps look into the grad students without insurance. Admittedly I don't know tooo much about that kind of stuff cuz I'm not married and had decent insurance from my own job up until I had to quit halfway through pregnancy. The resources I do use have been a literal blessing and unfortunately aren't available everywhere. But for what it's worth, I'm pretty positive you're not a bad mom and you're definitely not alone in what you're feeling ❤️
@lei14mar no, we can't afford it.
Idk where you live or your job situations or anything but my boyfriend who doesn't have insurance pays $10/an appt because his therapist is a grad student. I currently am on Medicaid and don't pay anything (for now). There's usually options especially for moms. And, as a Christian, I of course will suggest prayer and help through churches. But I'm not preachy so without knowing your thoughts on it I won't push
@lei14mar we are stuck in the we are to poor to make ends meet but make to much for assistance.the insurance we can afford sucks its $90 co pay for a normal dr appointment. I own $9000 in medical debt for both deliveries and my miscarriage. We can't find a therapist who takes our insurance.
First off u can't be a shitty mom if your a Batman fan :)
I have anxiety depression and borderline personality disorder. With my 1st I had ppd and I was so afraid to say something i thought they would take my baby well it turned to post partum physcosis. Please seek help.
I'm still a few weeks from popping with my first so unfortunately I don't have real advice. But, I'm also bipolar on top of several other things and pregnancy itself has been quite the ride mentally. Please know you're not alone in your fears/anxieties and chances are you're doing just fine for them. The fact that you're concerned that you're not doing well enough already shows you love them. It's super important to be honest with those close to you and your professionals that you have these thoughts even if you may feel badly for it. You're not a bad mom or bad person for struggling ❤️
@batmom16, you won't lose them for telling your doctor or a therapist/psych that you're struggling with such thoughts. Getting the help is a step towards taking care of your kids. If you're not acting on thoughts about mistreating them, you won't lose them. I know it's hard. But lean on whatever support you have.
@lei14mar we already had CPS called to do a wellness check when Mars was 9 months because I tried to talk to my dr about my issues. So no trust there at all. And I can't tell my husband because hes having his own depression issues and I don't want to make his worse... I've no real friends since I became a mom.
@batmom16, I'm sorry that happened. That isn't what they're supposed to do. Do you have a therapist or anything more along those lines?
@xmakayluhx probably that on top of my bipolar and anxiety it's hard to tell the difference. Everything just sucks. I just want to run away from everything and everyone.
@batmom16, I have bipolar too so I know how it is. But when I had my daughter, it was so hard but I knew I had ppd but it made my bipolar so much worse. I felt trapped.
Same lolz. Hardest job ever. I hope whatever youre going through gets better 💞 My sons future is most important to me, regardless of my mental state.