what do I want for Christmas?

So everyone keeps asking and i have NO IDEA.

So not in the Christmas spirit this year 😕 I mean I'm happy I have my unborn & my big boy but it's just not the same without my little fatty, it would've been his first Christmas 😢

Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

I know Is so early but i feel flutters it feels so weird but i love it 🥰

My SO has decided to go out of state to see his family for Christmas. He's very close with them and its been a few years so I get that.

But, I'm going to be home, alone, eight mos pregnant, on Christmas. It's too late for me to fly and to drive we'd be stopping at least every 45 min for me to pee or whatever.

I have said nothing because I know he loves and misses them but truthfully I am crushed about it.