soon.to.be.mom.
Guadalupe Solis
IN NEED OF ADVICE AND SUPPORT (again)
so this happened 4 hours ago and I've been thinking a lot about this.
okay, today I went out with one of my close friends to catch up, but before I went out with her my dad had the nerve to say shit about how I'm wasting gas just to go out with my friend, like even though he doesn't drive the car I was going in he had to say something about it. then after hanging out with my friend, I came back and moments later I was craving chicken wings, so I told my mom and I was already on ubereats ready to order some wings, then my dad comes. he asked my mom what's going on and she told him that I was craving wings. right away my dad started saying really mean and rude things about me and my boyfriend, he was saying how I was a dumbass for being pregnant and that my boyfriend is a bitch and lazy, that he's making me suffer and that the baby will too, he basically yelled saying some mean and hurtful things to me, even though he knew I was hurt he kept going, making me sad, cry, and stress out, after what all my dad said to me, my mom didn't say anything but stayed quiet, she didn't defend me for the things that hurt me, and my dad has never said these things when my sister was pregnant which is pretty messed up. I recently moved back with my parents but now I'm regretting it, they stress me out especially my dad, I went to my room and started breaking down and crying for 2 hours and I haven't told my boyfriend anything about this, but I'm planning on moving back at my boyfriend's house after today. I'm here asking for support and advice from anyone really, what's the best thing to do?
so this happened 4 hours ago and I've been thinking a lot about this.
okay, today I went out with one of my close friends to catch up, but before I went out with her my dad had the nerve to say shit about how I'm wasting gas just to go out with my friend, like even though he doesn't drive the car I was going in he had to say something about it. then after hanging out with my friend, I came back and moments later I was craving chicken wings, so I told my mom and I was already on ubereats ready to order some wings, then my dad comes. he asked my mom what's going on and she told him that I was craving wings. right away my dad started saying really mean and rude things about me and my boyfriend, he was saying how I was a dumbass for being pregnant and that my boyfriend is a bitch and lazy, that he's making me suffer and that the baby will too, he basically yelled saying some mean and hurtful things to me, even though he knew I was hurt he kept going, making me sad, cry, and stress out, after what all my dad said to me, my mom didn't say anything but stayed quiet, she didn't defend me for the things that hurt me, and my dad has never said these things when my sister was pregnant which is pretty messed up. I recently moved back with my parents but now I'm regretting it, they stress me out especially my dad, I went to my room and started breaking down and crying for 2 hours and I haven't told my boyfriend anything about this, but I'm planning on moving back at my boyfriend's house after today. I'm here asking for support and advice from anyone really, what's the best thing to do?
21.12.2018
3
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mhbb29
Why did you move back? Does your bf have a job? Did you graduate high school? Are you able to pay your way living with your family?
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
soon.to.be.mom.
I moved back because I had many things for my baby and didn't have space to put the baby's clothes and stuff, my bf does work and I did graduated, I'm currently working too.
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
rese
Your father is upset. And your mother may want to defend you but in some relationships / marriages the woman doesn't defend against the husband a lot. My parents are like that. My mother will know that my father is wrong but not address it in front of me (she'll address it in pillow talk) I think it's a respect thing.
Nonetheless, for your father to still act that way, he's obviously really upset. (I got pregnant at 19 so I know all about the "disappointment")
Have you attempted to have a candid conversation with him about the situation and how you feel? Of course acknowledging his feelings and thoughts. Not that you agree with them, but you understand and respect his perspective and care for your well being.
Nonetheless, for your father to still act that way, he's obviously really upset. (I got pregnant at 19 so I know all about the "disappointment")
Have you attempted to have a candid conversation with him about the situation and how you feel? Of course acknowledging his feelings and thoughts. Not that you agree with them, but you understand and respect his perspective and care for your well being.
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
soon.to.be.mom.
@rese both really, and it's mostly my dad that's negative about this pregnancy, he hates my bf rn and I guess the pregnancy, but in the beginning he was happy about it so idk what happened
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rese
@soon.to.be.mom., I think it's just a lot. Your baby girl is having a child.. That's hard in itself. You're happy about the new life but not happy about the circumstance. But then he's formed a negative opinion about your bf/child's father it seems so that only enhances the negative. It's hard. I think he's just upset. Dealing with it all.
As far as him calling you dumb your whole life... I'm not sure about that part.
As far as him calling you dumb your whole life... I'm not sure about that part.
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
soon.to.be.mom.
@rese I understand but I'm planning on moving back at my bfs cause it's been hard with living at my parents house
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
aylenrose
I'm really sorry you are going through this and your parents should not be treating you the way they are. Your mom should be defending you and shutting your dads awful behavior down. Maybe he is lashing out because he looks at you like his baby since you are still only 18 and having a baby. Which yes you are an adult but some parents just don't want to see it that way. My dad was upset that I was pregnant with my first baby and I was 23! He said it was because I was too young and my mom luckily did have my back and told him I wasn't 16 I was 23 and I was not too young to have a child or make the decision to have a child. Eventually my dad came around near the end and was pretty excited about this pregnancy so I really hope that after the baby is born your dad falls in love with them and realizes how dumb he's being. Stay strong and it's probably better for you to not be around your parents for the remainder of the pregnancy so you don't have to stress about the negatively.
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
scruffy.nerf.herder
That is a good point. 18 is pretty young to be having a kid, and her father is probably upset about it. Unfortunately, his feelings came out in a way which caused hurt feelings. But I can certainly understand some of the father’s feelings about it.
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soon.to.be.mom.
thank you! it's been really stressful with living at my parents house recently
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mamioftwins1018
Hey I'm so sorry to hear that but u shouldn't let no one stress u out like that
and it's wrong for ur dad to treat u like that
maybe its best for u leave your parent I don't know the situation with ur boyfriend but I think its the best for ur pregnancy and I'm sorry ur mom didn't defend and she should of ur her child and I don't care if that's ur dad he acting like he not but I hope everything will be okay if u ever need u can write me
and it's wrong for ur dad to treat u like that
maybe its best for u leave your parent I don't know the situation with ur boyfriend but I think its the best for ur pregnancy and I'm sorry ur mom didn't defend and she should of ur her child and I don't care if that's ur dad he acting like he not but I hope everything will be okay if u ever need u can write me
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
mamioftwins1018
@soon.to.be.mom. ur welcome and u don't need to be stressing but maybe ur boyfiend room to small but it will be better there then u stressing out at ur parents j hope everything else will be okay
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soon.to.be.mom.
@mamioftwins1018 thank you so much for the advice and support!
21.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
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