Mom.life
Guadalupe Solis
soon.to.be.mom.
Guadalupe Solis
so these couple of days it's been really hard for me, and I want to vent but also need advice and support cause I feel so alone atm. I used to live with my bf, but it was an apartment too small for the people who are living in it, me and my bf didn't even have a room to ourselves, we would sleep in a closet. but anyways, I recently moved out because I needed space for my baby's things, I had recently received baby clothes and blankets but didn't have space to put them so I moved out back to my parents house, I asked my bf to move in with me but he didn't want to, he said he didn't feel fully comfortable living with my family but I know it's because of my parents. I was fine with it because he told me that he was getting a new apartment by the end of this month. I told my parents and they both got very angry, saying that he doesn't love me, that if he really truly loved me that he would of have no problem and move in with me even if it was a month. I didn't really mind it though, and then my bf quit his job because it paid little and he wanted to work in a job where they pay more, and recently he started working in another job that pays more, my parents hate him a lot now, they both said that my bf hasn't bought our baby nothing and that he needs to start buying his things because I am 7 months right now, they say that he doesn't want to grow up and be a man/dad, they tell me that he's lazy and doesn't care about me and my baby. my bf doesn't know anything about this, and let me tell you, I do love him with all my heart, I want my baby to grow up with a dad not just a mom and I want what's best for my unborn child. another thing is yesterday both my parents were both pissed about how I go visit him but he never comes to visit me but the thing is my dad doesn't want him in the house so how does he suppose to visit me? even though my mom knows that, and he's the one wanting to see me but his older brother always takes the car to work and go out on dates, and so my bf can never come pick me up. my mom also said that if I want to be with him "to pack my things and leave, go suffer" and if I want support from her and my dad to dump him. she also said that I don't care for my baby, all I care is about myself and that I don't put the baby before me when it's not even true, she said if I don't want my baby to give him to her when he comes out and even started crying! like what kind of bs is that. my mom and dad wants me to leave my bf and stay with them, cause they'll maintain me and my child rather than my bf. honestly I don't know what to do and I need advice and support right now please. I feel so alone and i feel like my parents are against me and want me to please them, I've been sad, stressing out a lot and crying because of my parents, they don't even know how unhappy they are making me feel. but anyways please send advice, support and hope please, I really need it so I can know what would be best for me, my future and my baby.
11.12.2018
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rese
rese
Firstly, your parents are dope for even opening their home to you, your baby and your bf. (I know, because my parents have done the same) and I was pregnant at 19.
I'm sure your parents have good intent just by this!
It's just my opinion, but if your bf truly loved you, he'd be there with you (irregardless of his relationship with your parents) why? Because he should be there FOR YOU! Especially closer to the end of pregnancy. He can save and do all he needs to while there.
Ultimately, it's you and your bf family that's being started and I know it's challenging, but you'll need your support system so I'd have an open conversation with your bf and parents and set expectation. Let everyone know how you feel and what you want.
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lpheartsyou
lpheartsyou
I can see both points of view, however would you feel comfortable living (even for a month) with people who dont like you and make you feel unwelcomed? He quit to get a better paying job, not because he is lazy. You still have time to get baby everything it needs. Dont stress and do what you feel is best for you and your baby.
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soon.to.be.mom.
soon.to.be.mom.
that's true, thank you for the advice!.
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thebthatdontcare
thebthatdontcare
Maybe I’m the crazy one who thinks he is trying.. maybe I read this wrong but if he quit a job to make more money to support his family and he is getting a place of his own for his family.. and if you parents treat him like shit well shit I wouldn’t wanna be around them either so don’t blame him there and if he is trying to get a place of his own well than I’m sure he doesn’t have money to go out and buy all baby things right now your 7 months you still have 1.5 months to buy everything moving isn’t cheap it’s a lot of money up front so way I see it give him a dead line in your head and either he steps up and follows through with all the stuff he said he will do or he isn’t ready and your parents are right but to me sounds like your parents are just trying to control you and your baby🤷‍♀️ best of luck
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soon.to.be.mom.
soon.to.be.mom.
well thank you, I know it's hard and I know it's also my decision but I'm thinking it through good. but thank you for the support and advice
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laniejay
laniejay
So take this advice from a mama who was pregnant at 18 and sooo in love.

I learned: my mama was always right. I couldn't see it for years because I had my young lust goggles on, but I did finally. Your mom and dad want the best for you and your nugget. They have no reason to sabotage your relationship or family unit to be malicious. If they're negative about him, its probably for a good reason.

Now that my baby is almost 18, I can totally see it from your parents perspective. Quitting jobs, not living with you, not eing prepared for baby... he sounds very juvenile. You need to focus on you and baby. You have no choice but to grow up and be a mom. You cant force him and you don't deserve to settle if he cant.
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soon.to.be.mom.
soon.to.be.mom.
that's me rn, I'm 18 and he's 18 too he's trying to get a new apartment for me and our baby along with his family but I think my parents are in the right lane
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laniejay
laniejay
@soon.to.be.mom. if he grows up... GREAT! Your parents will see that. Just wait until he shows that he's going to before jumping in. And try hard not to push them away. He should be looking for a place for the 3 of you and saving, along with making sure his baby is provided for.
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soon.to.be.mom.
soon.to.be.mom.
@laniejay yes definitely, thank you so much!
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mnturdburgler
mnturdburgler
This is a tough situation, I don't no all the history but I assume your parents do as they see it all the time and it's easier to see it from the outside, I assure you they want what's best for you and there grandchild. Just from the little bit I read about him it does seem like your parents are right about him sweetie. actions speak louder then words he's had 7 months already. Although I don't think your parents are correct on the way they are approaching it.
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soon.to.be.mom.
soon.to.be.mom.
I know, my bf has told me that he's saving up right now for our baby's needs and he tells me how he loves me and everything and we are planning on making a baby shower soon but I'm not sure if it will happen for sure. my mom also wanted my older brother to dump his gf but for a different reason and my family are just so mad and upset at me but mostly my bf.
11.12.2018 Нравится Ответить
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