i forgot how to be the happy mom

The other day a friend of mine told me to have fun with my kids.I said in reply - I don't know if I know how to do that anymore.Just typing that brings tears to my eyes.I know how to be the busy mom - moving from one urgent to another urgent to another there's no toilet paper and the toilet's overflowing and the kids are fighting and the smoke detector is going off and I can't find my math sheet that was due three days ago urgency.