I should elaborate on my SOs past but I won’t he has given me many reasons to not trust him and I…

I should elaborate on my SOs past but I won’t he has given me many reasons to not trust him and I chose to stick around & forgive him although I do have ptsd from betrayal & that will never go away I do love him but sometimes it’s never enough. As of now I’m trying to work it out for my family because when it’s good it’s great, but at what point is losing myself in it all , I’ve put in my work made him up I’d like to think I fixed a lot of him and he begged me to stay with him after I left him this last time. But I will not be disrespected no relationship is perfect, but I will by no means stick around and be a door step or a place to stay while he does what he wants. For right now I will let it go , but when he gets back things will be different.