What are you guys opinions on this? My 9 year old step daughter wants to go out with just her mom and her dad ( my…

@myblessings, 9 yr olds are selfish. It’s perfectly normal at that age. It’s also normal for her to think about that nuclear family. If both parents are reinforcing that the family structure is different, it’s one thing. Seems Mom is feeding into her or perhaps (and sounds likely) put it into her head.

I’d look into her responses and look deeper into it. What does she feel she is missing? More time with Dad? More one on one attention? Maybe one on one with both of you?

9 is a tough age. And 2 new babies to divide attention is hard. She’s needing something, Mom isn’t helpful to the situation. Seems you and Dad will have to find the root of the problem and give a little more love.

@laniejay I sympathize, but she's 9 and should know that's not gonna happen. Her dad is married and her mom is engaged. And it's very selfish to wish you didn't have your stepparents and siblings

@laniejay they split when she was a baby and they never was that kind of couple so she's probably getting this stuff from TV or something

@laniejay He actually took her out yesterday, she told him she would love if they were like the usual family. Like he be home with her and when her mom comes home her dad would ask her how her day was. Pretty much just the three of them as a family

@myblessings, during your next weekend with her- her should probably take her out for one on one time and have a chat with her about it.

@laniejay I know 😔 his bm wouldn't answer her phone for him to talk to her about it

A blended family is HER normal and the normal for most kids nowadays. Mom needs to stop feeding into this our family ideal

@laniejay She's not understanding

Sooo.... what happened?

@myblessings I agree with you !

Agreed, that's what he's going to tell her. They could either do one on one or everyone together 🤷🏾‍♀️ @oops.i.sharted

@myblessings, yeah, then that shit wouldn’t be happening lol. “Our family” doesn’t exist for her anymore, it’s a blended family now, and that includes you and your guys children as well. I’d just have him request an outing with ALL of you, then you should be able to see where he intentions lay.

Thanks so much for the reply! Gives me so much clarity!! Sounds like when they make those requests it's because they want thier original family back together. Which is understandable but not going to happen and shouldn't do anything that's misleading.

My personal opinion I wouldn't be okay with it because 1 out of 10 it's not your step daughter requesting the 3 of them to spend time together it's most likely the ex wife putting that in her daughter head you know what I mean!! So what I would say to my husband is I'm completing fine with you and your daughter having one on one time but I'm not okay with the 3 of you spending time together then I would say you need to speak to your daughter and ex and let them know that we are all family not just the 3 of them again I'm sure it's not your step daughter it her mother putting that in her head because if your saying that the last time they all spent time together was when they was together why all of a sudden she wants the 3 of them to spend time with out her sisters ! Not okay and you don't want your step daughter to think that her parents are getting back together and you don't want his ex to think she can get away with the 3 of them spending time together! Trust me I'm in the same situation my husband has two kids with another women and when she throws there birthday party she only want the 4 of them and my step sons will tell me they only want there dad to go to there party not me or my daughter witch is my step sons sister and my husband had to explain to the kids and his ex that he is not okay with it and as long as we are together He will never not include me or are daughter we are all family weather they like it or not!

@laniejay Exactly what we said! No 9 year old is going to talk like that. Family is family

@laniejay Yeah I agree.

Perhaps he can reply suggesting that he takes the daughter for one on one time, because him, Mom and daughter are not a family unit and he doesn’t want to cause any confusion.

I think Mom needs to remember there is no “our family” of the three of them. That’s what’s making me think mom is saying it and not the daughter, she said our.

@leahkay My step daughter always requests everyone to hangout and do something her dad's side and her mom's side. Never just them three

@oops.i.sharted me either, I would totally get it. But yes don't know why they want her included. The last time just 3 of them did something together was 7 years ago when she was 2 and they were dating

I wouldn’t question one on one with her dad and her... however... it’s kind of strange that your husbands ex wife wants to join them? Are they close, do they usually do stuff with her included? Then it might not be such a weird request.

@laniejay yeah I would get that too, and we get her Friday - Sunday, and my husband goes sees her Monday afternoon

@sleepymommy yeah we get one on one time with just her dad and wouldn't have a problem. And she lives with her mom so she always gets time with her

Odd mom wants to join.

I could see if she wanted some one on one with Dad. Does he see her or take her any other time other than Monday’s?