I’m your mommas opinion am I being rude in the first message? How would you react to what my mil…

Looks like you may have insulted your mil and hurt her feelings. Just from an outside view.

@bodybycheetos, It was bothering me because when she was here she only wanted to hold my oldest. It was like she didn’t want anything to do with my youngest. So I asked so I would know.

Doesn’t look rude at all to me. Seems like you’re just asking an honest question about how you feel with what you’ve seen first hand..

Do you think maybe she doesn’t buy as much for your youngest because it will get passed down to her anyways?

Just a thought, there’s no harm in asking anyways.

for some people it’s easier to interact with older kids vs a one month old? Idk.

I actually thought you asked in a very “non attacking” way. If these are your feelings, you can’t help that. She came back at you pretty defensive.

@day1401, it’s not just about clothes. It’s the fact that she always only brings up my oldest or put my youngest second. Like today she sent her son a message saying she only misses my oldest and nothing about my youngest. When she was here she only wanted to hold my oldest. She didn’t stay at the hospital no longer than a hour with my youngest but my oldest she was there 2+ hours. She only held my youngest twice and didn’t really pay any attention to her.

@lifegrowsinside, I definitely get it. My mil is kind of the same way.

Maybe just give it some more time, your oldest is at the age where it’s easier to interact and talk with, they are doing more things etc. Vs what a one month old can do.

You know what I mean?

I mean, on the other hand, she very well could just have a (maybe not favourite) but a preference right now?

Maybe?

@day1401, she treated my youngest different then what she did my oldest at this age and everything. I feel she got very defensive when I asked her.

@lifegrowsinside, yes but at the same time, your first will always be different than your second. Not everyone reacts the same to every following baby.

I don’t know, I totally get why you’d question it, you just want your babies to be equally loved.

I could definitely see why she’d get defensive though. I don’t think there’s a way you could’ve even said it different and got a difference reaction out of her.

I think calling someone out and saying they didn’t buy enough is rude. Your baby is only a month old. There’s not much you can do with a 1 month old. Giving the toddler more attention is actually good because I’m sure the toddler is having mixed emotions with a new baby involved. It looks like she was following the boundaries you set previously and that you’re really nitpicking. I personally think you owe her an apology.

I mean, your baby is only one month old. I get that it’s hard when someone else doesn’t see what you see in your child, but to me it sounds like she’s just bonded more with your older child. I’d give it some time for her to create that bond with the new baby. It won’t be exactly the same, but it’ll probably be better than you think. My own mom even told me that she won’t love any other child I have as much as she loves my first. But I have no doubt in my mind that she will love them all. It was like this with my brothers, me, and my grandma too. Just takes a little time. I was always the favorite because I was first; it’s a bond that happens. Your first is always special. But that doesn’t mean my brothers were treated much differently than I was. We were all loved in our own ways.