Marriage isn’t going to change these things, nothing you say will change that behavior. Is this how you want to live? What’s his is his no matter what?

Also is he paying for your schooling?

I totally agree that this dynamic seems off and if he was actually willing to provide for you these things wouldn’t be happening. If it were me I would be questioning the engagement as he’s likely not to change.

If you weren’t with him how would you be supporting yourself? I mean that in a manner that maybe you would qualify for some funding due to being a student? I worked through nursing school but also qualified for some living bursaries that helped with daycare while I was in school/work and hubby was at work. I did that for four years while becoming an RN so maybe you could look into some options for funding? Or get a job it is possible to do both albeit a lot of work!

I’m sorry your going through this 😫

If he’s this way now it’s not gonna change it will probably get worse especially after marriage. It throws up huge red flags that I wouldn’t be engaged anymore cuz he seems controlling

Thats too much negative energy....and honestly I know they say love is blind and this and that BUT, honestly you have children, and they come first. If he can’t be there for you and those children and have some sort of understanding and he’s being this selfish then you need to lay down the law and make him understand you and your children are worth way more than this and leave for a few days and make him understand your serious about this bcuz otherwise he will always think it’ll just be an argument and he can walk off and come back later and thats how itl always be and nothing will ever get resolved. I’ve been through so much bs in life and no one would ever be able to tell with the smile I carry on my face, and I’ll tell you right now, it had taken me a very long time to understand my self worth but trust me your worth much more than this. I have seen how much it frustrates you lately and I’m only saying all of this bcuz you need to pick yourself up and understand this bcuz you don’t deserve to constantly be struggling. Pick up that fucking crown, straighten it out, set it back on that gorgeous head of yours and make some moves. You got this. He’s not worthy of being your husband it seems. You got this. Make some moves.❤️💎

@babyjjsmommy that sounds crazy. Maybe he deletes these things. You shouldn't live your life like that. That doesn't sound like husband material. Maybe y'all just need time apart and see what happens or have a heart to heart.

@mrshammond17, I even accused him of cheating today and of course he said no. I can see all his texts on his iPad and he doesn’t even talk to anyone, so I really just don’t understand.

Nope, you can’t live like that. You need to have access or keep everything separate.

Like I’ve tried to tell him, it bothers me when it comes to the principle of the matter. The fact that he’s okay letting me drain my savings and he’s got thousands saved up. Like I should have to ask him for x amount of money for x reason each time. I mean I’m not asking for 200$ a month, but just a 20 here and there to have for things would be nice ya know. Or if I’m shopping and I want to get something for the kids, I shouldn’t have to get up to the register and start fumbling to put things back because I don’t have the money.

@babyjjsmommy maybe you should leave for a few days and see if that works, if not then maybe it's in your best Interest to leave. That doesn't even sound like a relationship, sounds more like roommates. Do you think he's seeking attention and affection elsewhere?

@mrshammond17, like HOW can I make him realize this, ugh I’ve tried talking. He literally just said “fuck it” and walked off a few minutes ago after I explained it to him again.

@babyjjsmommy you're feelings aren't invalid!! He needs a wake up call.

@laniejay, I’m just wondering, am I being unreasonable? Are my feelings invalid?

@laniejay, it surely does.

Should make you think twice about that marriage part....