Questions for My Husband: A Thread by A Confused Wife/Mom

1. How are YOU always tired?
> You get good sleep at night, or at least I assume so based on ur loud ass snoring the keeps me up. Not to mention that ur nipples are f*ckin useless, so it ain't like ur up feeding our daughter in the middle of the night...therefore losing sleep.

2. Do you really think waking me up for sex at 3am is a good idea?
> Bruh. I was just up at 2:27am letting our daughter suck the life out of me via breastfeeding. I'm f*ckin tired, no I don't feel sexy, and screw you for interrupting my damn sleep!

3. Do you think I'm a magician?
> We live in California...not Hogwarts, Narnia, or any other magical place. Due to this fun fact, I need you to understand that I canNOT do everything. I'm an expert juggler...but I'm not a damn magician! Stop expecting me to pull a rabbit out my ass whenever you need something special (aka stupid and outlandish)

4. Is my name Ms. Cleo?
> No. It's not. That means that I am NOT pretending to be psychic and canNOT read your damn mind! Please just tell me what you mean/want/need/think and save us both alot of time and irritation.

5. Aren't these your kids too?
> The answer to that is YES, yes they are. Being that these little humans are the fruit of ur loom..."ask ya mama" is NOT an appropriate answer for all things needed by the kids. Answer some f*ckin questions, and make some damn decisions.

6. Is my name Molly?
> No. It's not. I don't run a cleaning service and I ain't a damn maid, so get yo ass up and clean some of this sh*t up. Preferably the toilet where u and our son obviously have bouts of epilepsy, or chronic diminishing depth perception, each time you take a piss....as evident from my piss droplet bathroom floors!!! How tf do u miss???

I will be adding to this list as time goes on...but feel free to add your own questions to your spouses in the comments lol.