Warning: long post, but need a little advice. TIA
Warning: long post, but need a little advice. TIA
So about 3 weeks ago I found out that my SO/father of my child cheated on me back in June. We have been together for almost 4 years, it will be 4 years at the beginning of october. He cheated with one of his close friends. A few days after it happened, he invited her over to hang out with both of us (this was before I knew). Then the night that I found out, he was messaging other girls, trying to hook up, 2 of the girls were old friends of mine. The 1 was a close friend that I used to hang out with almost everyday. They didn't hook up, but he tried. So I decided that I was going to leave, but then decided to try and work it out. Well we were doing fine for a bit, but I would still get upset about it and he wouldn't give me emotional support, just kinda expected me to just get over it so I was going to stay with his mom until I found my own place, but he wanted me to come home so I did. I just don't know that I've made the right decision to stay. I still get angry about it at times when I think about it, but nowhere near as angry as before. There's a place for rent that I can afford that I can go for, but should I go for it or should I give it a little more time? I just can't help but live in constant fear and anxiety that it's going to happen again. Every time his phone goes off I wonder who it's from and what they're talking about. Every time he leaves I wonder where he's going, who he's with, and what he's doing. I try not to, but I can't help it. I feel like I can't go anywhere either or go hang with any of my friends because I'm afraid he's going to cheat again. I mean he's been doing good as far as I know, I've checked his phone, but I'm scared and don't know if I should really stay or not. I know, ultimately it's up to me, but I was just wondering what you guys thought. I'm torn between staying because I love him and I want us to work out and leaving because I feel so betrayed that he would do this to me.
Penelope ·
Why are you with him? I could never be with someone that was constantly messaging other women. He should have broke up with you before he started looking elsewhere.
Lisa D.·
Мама двоих (младенец)
Honestly if I were you I would move out. Your relationship isn't a healthy one. He broke your trust. He has shown you that he can't be faithful to you. Honestly do you want your child growing up around that? Your SO will think that it is ok to cheat because he knows you will come back to him. He needs to realize what he has done is not ok.
.·
I would move out! you can’t live like that in constant fear and worried. you will drive your crazy, and it’s not worth losing yourself for somebody! so I would move out and if you guys decide to stay together or date than start over, find the trust again go slow and find that spark again but don’t stay with him feeling like that just a disaster waiting to happen.
best of luck!!
R🦖·
You deserve better. Don’t destroy yourself for someone who isn’t worth it. No one is worth that.
deleted-user·
You don’t realize how badly he’s disrespected you. This is just what you found out. The fact that he does it with close friends of his or yours is a big red flag. Please put yourself first.
Raquel·
Is he still with the close friend he cheated on you with? Or did he cut her out of his life?
Regardless of that answer I think you need to leave. He clearly knows now that it’s okay to cheat on you and you won’t leave. Now I’m not saying break up with the guy but get your own place and if you guys want to continue dating take things slow. Fall back in love. Trust is something that is so hard to get back that it’s complexly understandable that you don’t trust him. But think about it do you really want to live in a what if world? Do you really want the anxiety of dealing with “maybe it’s a girl he’s texting”? If you choose to stay then I suggest you set boundaries with him and stick to those and the minute the crosses the line you leave but you actually have to go through with it or else he’ll think your just a doormat.
Melissa Merrill·
Мама сына-младенца
He hasn't really talked to any girls since everything happened