Symptoms of pregnancy: -waking up to waving your arms around like noodles, whyyyy -gums bleeding…

Symptoms of pregnancy:

-waking up to waving your arms around like noodles, whyyyy

-gums bleeding profusely with one uncooked carrot

-your hips, ankles (and just about every joint that keeps you up right) quivering in their inevitable collapse

-insatiable hunger and thirst like a ravenous dog

( touch my fries, I dare you)

(ya, hi do you guys sell 60oz water bottles?)

- sleep deprivation like a yawning zombie unable to hide its hatred for how far away the bathroom is ... god damnit ... it’s like a MILE AWAY

-what... omg is that a skin tag ?... wtf

-where did all this hair come from?!