Not trying to mom bash but I've wanted to ask this question for a long time because I'm very…

It dries up.

They just don’t ever do anything with it. It goes to waste. I fed my oldest for 3 days and my youngest for a week. I wanted them to at LEAST get the colostrum. But in both cases it was just too much for me. It became super stressful and painful and formula works better for us

Body works on supply and demand. If baby isn’t suckling to trigger body to create more milk for baby it’ll dry up and go away.

@liz41395 that's so sad, I shouldn't care but it's heartbreaking to know that some choose not to even try. Even with the benefits of colostrum pumping a few times wouldn't hurt? I know first hand breastfeeding is a lot of work and not for everyone.

It dries up. Just like the moms who lost their littles during late pregnancy or shortly after delivering. It's a supply and demand process. If there is no baby drinking it. It isn't produced/used. The boobs will still firm up and they might leak but within a week it's gone.

@sorcha that's so interesting. I read about certain things moms do with baby are supposed to encourage let downs/production of milk so I'm guessing that doesn't happen either if there is no demand for milk

It just dries up. I never tried to bf my first, but I did try to bf and pump with my second. For the few weeks that I did it, I despised my baby. I hated him for causing me pain (because it hurt). Every time he cried, I had an anxiety attack and wanted to disappear. I saw more than one lactation specialist in the hospital and the wic office and they all said he was latched correctly and I shouldn’t feel pain. Once I switched to formula, our bond improved, and I was able to get my ppd/ppa under control with the help of my Doctor. I WILL NOT try again with my twins. My mental health has to come first if I want to be a good mom. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@dankerson I'm sure every mom had their reasons. Some I'm sure are coping with their own needs or medical reasons. Some have medications that could harm the infant even through breast milk. Others may have been abused and can't emotionally and physically cope with the idea of breastfeeding let alone do it. Others have cultural reasons or socially expectations put on them.

Its all about doing what's right for their baby regardless of others. Formula is made to be as close as possible to human milk. And I'm positive that mom is doing what's right for her child. Just like breastfeeding moms are doing whats right for theirs.

I haven’t breastfed in over 6 weeks. And I’m on birth control. I still have a little milk. It takes a long time to completely dry up

@sorcha oh I 100% understand the many different reason that one may not breastfeed. And I respect every mother who feeds their child properly be it formula or breastmilk. It's just that I've seen moms not even consider bf and it makes me wonder where that valuable colostrum goes.

@liz41395 did you deal with swelling or anything like that? There are times where I just want to go and buy formula but then I remember how engorged I become after a missed feeding

@mrschanandlerbong95 thanks so much for posting your experience! It's TRUE not all LC and specialist can help. I was told the same. He was finally seen by a different LC and see suggested a specialist in oral ties. Turned out my kiddo would require them to be released or he would need to be bottle fed using a stronger flow nipple in order to get milk. Each mom has there own struggle and I'm sorry you struggled so much and were made to feel like a bad mom. You are a great mom who put your kids needs first. They needed a mom. And kids need a happy mom. One who will put their needs first, and do what's right for them. On behalf of your kids, "Thank you for doing what they needed. And putting their needs first!" You're mental health and physical well being have to be at the forefront. We can't parent if we are in crisis.

@dankerson, I pumped a little for about a week but tried not to unless they were so full and sore. And I’d hand express a little after that. Eventually the pain goes away. I totally recommend trying to keep going if you can! I hate that breastfeeding isn’t a good fit for us. I wish so much that it was! But mental health is super important and if you need to do it, thank God there is formula.

@mrschanandlerbong95 that's great that you did not force something that was getting in the way with bonding with your baby. I had toe curling pain the first days but my daughter had a bad latch which luckily went away after she was introduced to a bottle. I'm so sorry that you went through that and also happy that y'all came out on top. I remember dreading every feeding and being generally unhappy with breastfeeding. I definitely believe if mommas not happy then baby won't be happy

@sorcha All of the nurses, midwives and LCs that would come and help get a good latch were great. They made it look so easy. My daughter would latch perfectly and be content. But as soon as they left the room she'd be screaming and I would be in pain from latching again. It got so bad that she was dehydrated and needed some formula until I could pump a bottle and after that, she latched like a pro.

I wouldn't say it "dries up" Like everybody does. It leaks out the initial bit. When everyone said it dried up. I thought it just stayed in my boobs and "dried" But it doesn't it leaks