My step daughter (11) has been driving me up the wall! I love her to death, and ofcourse I know…

I don't have any advice but reading this makes me think of my husband. 😂 My husband is just like her so I partially I understand your struggles. Sooooo frustrating. Good luck!

@aengs2 lmao omg if my hubs was like that I'm pretty positive I'd cry! Good luck to you too! Lol!

@kendrab, Haha thank you! Deep breaths. One day at a time.

Have her dad talk to her? Reward her for cleaning up? She’s a preteen girl the fact that her mom isn’t around may have her resenting you because she doesn’t want you she wants her mom. I have an 11 year old son and he is pretty good but does need quite a few reminders about cleaning up after himself.

@mimixtmn dad has talked to her a few times and it does work for a couple days then it goes right back :/ me and her have a fantastic relationship! Shes even said that shed never want another step mom and I'm the best mother figure (yes I cried lol) she knows how her mum is.. and found out on her own I never ever talk bad about their mother to the kids! Idk what it is that causes her to not listen. Reminders are fine but all day every day is just stressful..

@kendrab, If there’s no other issues then I wouldn’t make such a big deal out of having to remind her she’s a kid. I have to remind my 11 year old to do stuff (sometimes even twice) everyday, kids are different but if that’s the only problem I wouldn’t stress over it, ya it’s annoying sometimes but she’s 11 not 18. At least she’s not giving attitude and back chat and getting into real trouble.

I would take away privileges .. a child isn't going to learn by being rewarded for wrong doing especially after being asked and told so many times .. even if she gets mad she's the child and she will get over it ..

That is completely old enough to know better

. And know what not to do .. we were younger and never got away with that

@jordanrwilliams25 oh yes I didn't have very strict parents but by 10 I had to clean up (most) of my messes! I'm going to have to be a little more strict.. something has to give, if shed atleast put dishes in the sink or wipe up a spill.. just do a little I'm not asking for her to be spotless I dont expect that just hate how she literally puts no effort into cleaning any type of mess she makes.. shes def old enough in my opinion to know better as well. I'd have nothing to bitch about if it wasnt a multiple times a day occurrence):

@kendrab I totally agree .. kids will be kids but kids need to learn responsibility especially when they are old enough .. you got it .. just put your foot down just a little more mama .. like time out from playing or tv .. or no more snacks and drinks until her mess is cleaned up and leave it until she gets it herself .. little simple things like that .. and if she gets an attitude then send her to time out then explain why she's there each time it will work out eventually she'll get it and she will get over it

@jordanrwilliams25 I'll definitely try a bit of discipline for it.. it's been long enough and the nice approaches went down the drain! I'm always afraid to make my step kids not like me.. so being strict is a little tough, but I know when they're older theyll understand why I was being strict about it! Lol def putting the foot down and I'll try those thank you!♡

@kendrab oh girl as she gets older she will definitely appreciate the tough love and she will realize as well that sometimes you probably could have or should have been tougher in some situations that you may face .. as long as you know in YOUR heart that it's for the best and her best guidance never have any regrets it's ok to feel bad about it but you also shouldn't feel bad about it ... And her mother is wrong for that statement and regardless it's your roof your rules .. 💓 you're welcome 💓

@jordanrwilliams25 awh thank you♡ I try to think about that and I never really yell at them or take things away. It takes alot for me to be angry! Lol but the couple times I have I always let them know its out of love and caring not just me being a butthead! And they always say they know and they love me too so it's really cute honestly but makes it that much harder to discipline cause they are great kids! Minus the trail she leaves behind her all day lol!

@kendrab I understand lol .. she will too .. just give it a couple weeks with the new approach it takes 30 days to create new habits if you're consistent so hopefully she'll have it down by then lol

You should tell her dad how you feel, I’ve dealt with something similar to that and since her real mother feels like she doesn’t have to listen to you, she’s going to feel like she doesn’t have to listen to you. Just tell her dad that “out of respect you should have some type of authority to have a say so in regards to her cleaning or whatever it is that needs to be done because at this point regardless if you’re not her mom or not, she’s teaching her to be disrespectful to adults which isn’t ok. Especially at that age she’s old enough to know right and wrong, she probably just feels like you’re just going to clean it up every time which isn’t fair to you at all.

No matter what her mother says. You are an adult she should be listening to you. If you are the one with them most of the time you have every right to discipline her. She needs punished. My 10 year old needs reminding to clean up after himself but I will only ask once. If it’s not done he loses privileges. You aren’t asking a lot from her. And every child starting from the age they can walk, they should have chores and responsibilities. She will be an adult soon enough and nobody will be cleaning up after her. I explain this to my oldest multiple times. I think it maybe starting to sink in but he’s naturally a dirtball. Some people like to clean (me & my two younger ones) some people don’t mind dirt and mess (my husband and oldest) either way you need to learn to clean up after yourself. Ask her if she wants bugs in the house. I’m sure she doesn’t. Keep at it. These preteen years are trying and teenage years are going to be worse lol.