I'm having really intense feelings of hate towards my husband right now and I have for a while since becoming pregnant. He is hateful, not understanding, complains when I ask for help, makes snarky remarks all the time, etc. I never envisioned I would end up married to someone like this. In 10 years of marriage (12 years if being together) I thought he would somewhat appreciate me and even more so because I'm the mother of his daughters. I want an understanding, loving man that goes out of his way to take care of me while I'm pregnant with his child. I didn't think that was too much to ask.
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@makeupmegs Thank you. You deserve the best too. I'm sorry your husband is like that as well. I think one of the hardest parts for me is I don't have family of my own where I live. My family is 6 hours away. I gave up a lot when I moved here 10 years ago. Just another thing he forgets. He also complains about random stuff like the girls playroom being messing and getting on to them to clean it. It's a playroom. I don't get it. I know he is OCD a good bit, that's a given, which doesn't make things easy either.
@aprilmhmm Thank you. He was wonderful the first chunk of years in our marriage and I know I'm hormonal and hard to deal with being pregnant. It is hard being pregnant like you said especially when I have scoliosis, have plates, skews, and pins in my ankle and have to carry all this extra weight, raising two other children, are taking college courses required for my job, preparing for a new school year as a parent and teacher, preparing for our 3rd daughter, and the list goes on. I'm under a lot of pressure and I'm sure that's not helping. I'm overwhelmed and need help. Help I'm not getting especially emotionally. 😕
@wvmommy, maybe even your church offers something?
@emily526 I don't want to throw it away. Never said that. I just look for support and understanding I'm not getting from him.
@avahambrose @penelope127 I have definitely considered counseling. Where I live in west Virginia is a small town with not much of anything without driving a good bit. There also aren't many options for counselors. . I would definitely go to counseling even if it was for myself too. I'm am not one to give up on my marriage easily. Being raised in church and attending and being an active member makes divorce for me the very last option. It's just hard. Thank you for your suggestion. I'll have to do some more research on counselors.
I have no advice as my husband is the same way, all I can say is that you aren’t alone. My husband doesn’t appreciate anything I do, he doesn’t help me in any way and literally looks for anything to bitch about. He also freaks out about the most random/asinine things and gets physical with me over the dumbest stuff that makes no sense. The other day he was fuming mad and started complaining out of nowhere about how our car is too nice? Like seriously, what? Anyway, I’m sorry he’s an ass, nobody deserves to be unappreciated. One mom to another- I know you deserve all the appreciation, love and respect. I’m sorry he doesn’t see it, I know how lonely/sad/aggravating it can feel living with someone like that.
Making comments or being pissy when she needs helpisnt appreciating her.
You are pregnant, its hard to grow a baby, maybe he needs to read a book on what its like to be pregnant.
It isn't easy and its mentally hard also!
You didn't marry someone like this, he once treated you good, and even cared!
He needs to remember he is a guest to you your heart and your body still and he needs to be careful not to over stay his welcome.
Lending a helpful hand to someone ESPECIALLY your wife is common courtesy.
I would be pissed babe and you have every right to feel the way you do!
He could offer or ask. And when you ask he could just do the Damn thang.
You both are probably under lots of pressure right now & it’s causing you all to feel stressed. People react to stress differently. I hope you guys can resolve things because 12 years is a long time & clearly you all got married for a reason. Praying for y’all! ❤️
I'm sure he does appreciate you. He may just not know how to show it in a way that you're looking for. I would try sitting down just the 2 of you and really discussing how you feel. No marriage ever will be perfect, but I think after as many years as you've been together, you shouldn't just throw it all away.
Maybe even couples counseling? Do you think the marriage is worth saving, or do you think it’s coming to an end?
@penelope127 They don't. It's a small church. 😔