Everyone around me keeps talking about how they’re so ready for Halloween and October and then…
Everyone around me keeps talking about how they’re so ready for Halloween and October and then telling me I’m insane for not looking forward to it. I used to love October. Now I dread it. I HATE October and everything that’s happened in that one fucking month. James died October 10th. In October my entire world crashed down around me and yet I’m “nuts” for not looking forward to October. I don’t want to go through another anniversary of his death. I don’t want to go through this empty feeling. I don’t want to have to keep feeling numb and lost over this. I feel like October is constantly being shoved in my face by everyone around me. While I understand because it used to be my favorite time of the year, I wish it was understood now that I hate i, and just left at that. I don’t want to bring it up because I’m sure they don’t want to hear about the pain I harbor inside me. I just don’t want to have to explain myself anymore.
Sorry for this stupid ass rant. I know it’s a little on the petty side but I needed to get it out here before I unintentionally snap on someone. 😓
Yamila·
Im so sorry.
Some people like something and basically want to push it down your throat. Very heartless from them, especially if you lost someone in October.
Im sorry to bring it up and ask but who is James?
@breediddy13
Breanna James·
@yamip91, he was my cousin that was basically a brother. We were raised together and were super close
Victoria ·
I can understand your feelings. I LOVED Christmas time as a kid, but my mom died a week before Christmas, 10 years ago. And “homecoming” is a big deal around here that everyone gets excited for, but my dad died homecoming week. I can’t help but feel sad and down during those times, but that’s just my cross to bear. I can’t expect other people to feel continued sympathy for my losses 5&10 years down the road. People just tend to stop caring and expect you to “get over it”, not realize that it doesn’t work that way. Keep your head up, and if you need to grieve, do it.
Breanna James·
@mrschanandlerbong95, I don’t expect them to continue their sympathy at all. Especially when James wasn’t much of anything to them. But I would at least appreciate not being told I’m insane for not enjoying October. And hearing “he wouldn’t want you to hate what used to be your favorite month because of him.” I know that but it’s still such a negative thing for me and I don’t believe I’ll ever be over it. I usually go super quiet around October because it’s just another reminder he’s gone for good.
I’m sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you. 🖤
Natalie Godwin ·
Мама сына (1 год), беременна (35 нед.)
I know how you feel my dad died in October
Breanna James·
@natcasey9, I’m sorry for your loss 🖤💔
Natalie Godwin ·
Мама сына (1 год), беременна (35 нед.)
@breediddy13 yours too
Yamila·
@breediddy13
😔
Sorry to hear that
Hibben ·
I’m sorry
Heather·
Мама сына (6 лет)
Bree, I'm so sorry. I remember you sharing this loss on BB. Tell those people calling you insane to go kick rocks! You are allowed to grieve how you need to and on your own timeframe.