-Mom Feels-
Going through the "Big D" (and I don't mean Dallas).
I just had our second child twelve weeks ago, a beautiful, healthy baby girl. And let me tell you... it's been rough. Obviously, when put into perspective, it's not that bad. We are all healthy, we have a new home, my husband is helping out when he can, our daughter is having a blast playing with her little sister...all blessings. But DEPRESSSION isn't always rational is it? And post partum depresssion comes at the worst time... post partum.
You've got a newborn (and in this case a toddler too). You aren't sleeping. You have that extra baby weight you can't work off yet. Your clothes don't fit. You aren't really sure the last time you took a relaxing shower (or any shower) and brushed your hair. Makeup? Heck no. Your new fragrance? Yeah, that would be spit up. You're always making bottles, washing bottles, burping, bouncing, hunting a pacifier (I KNOW they grow legs and walk off), changing diapers, picking up toys, suffering through the screams of a time out because a certain toddler just flung her plate at her sister like she was throwing a disc in the next Olympics, and don't EVEN get me started on bedtime.
That's just NORMAL stuff. In between all of that is the cuddles, the giggles, the new words, learning to count, the sloppy kisses and adorable hugs, the "read to me mama" moments and so much more. But the depression steals those moments and they get overlooked. You feel defeated and beat down. You feel like you'll never be happy again. You don't even want to look at yourself. You cry, hoping it will release some of those awful horrible feelings, but it doesn't. Honestly it just adds to your haggard appearance. Yay.
And the worst part is you KNOW it's happening but you can't control it. You KNOW it's bad. And your poor spouse...what do they know? What do they do? How can you explain it to someone who hasn't been through it?
For me, for us, we've had bad days. But we've also had good days. And the good days help bridge the gap between the good and bad. I pray. I read. I write. I'm slowly getting back to work. I work out now during the baby's nap time. These things work for me. My husband does his best to understand and not get frustrated with me. He even took the baby one night so I could sleep (I got SIX whole hours!). Seriously, the next day was a great day for me and us. Sleep matters y'all...get it however you can.
This is real. Post partum depresssion is real. Just because you've always had it together before doesn't mean it can't hit you. You're human. Acknowledge it. Talk about it. Do NOT be afraid to ask for help. Asking doesn't make you appear to be weak, remember that. It makes you appear BRAVE. Brave enough to say, "I need help. I can't do this alone."
My inbox is always open. If I can help in no other way than to listen while you cry into your cold coffee then I will. It's okay Mama. We got this.
this post isn't for pity or sympathy. It's a real thing that happens to real people. Somebody reading this may have needed that little extra push to reach out and ask for help! And yes, you can share! Please do 💕
❤️ Kate🌸🌼🌹🌷🌻☕