I HATE reaching my limit. I hate screaming at my child. I hate wrestling a very strong baby every poopie diappie change.…
I HATE reaching my limit. I hate screaming at my child. I hate wrestling a very strong baby every poopie diappie change. I hate it when he's sleepy but fights it for more than an hour. I hate it when he complains he's hungry and takes no more than 3 sips of a full bottle and wastes the rest. I hate it when he finally falls asleep and I'm still angry. I hate having to put him in his jumper for more than a few minutes because I can no longer manage his energy or my attitude.
I hate feeling like this. I hate the mommie guilt I struggle with every day.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY SON. but I hate feeling like I'm terrible at being a parent.
He's all I've ever wanted in this world, and now I feel like I'm damaging him because I can't be the parent I wanted to be, the one I thought I had the ability to be.
God I f***ing hate this feeling.
Deleted·
Have you talked to your doctor about PPD and PPA? My post partum depression manifested itself as anger and it's a common thing but not widely recognized yet. They put me on Zoloft and it's much better. The frustration and anger are more manageable for me.
Catherine Straley·
Мама сына-младенца
@cajuncateral I have but all I've done thus far is one therapy session. My second one was cancelled bwcause the dr called in sick... Meds are hard for me to want to accept because I was on so many different kinds from 4th grade until I was 17. They messed me up both physically and mentally. Zoloft sent me into seizures and topamax gave me extensive nerve damage, so the idea of trying something like that again is scary. I defiantly have PPD & PPA on top of pre-existing anger issues. Its become such a struggle. It doesn't help that I'm usually pretty isolated 98% of the time outside of my son and husband. I have 0 access to the car so I don't have any real opportunities to make friends with anyone. I know it would be a little easier to manage if I had some mommie friends or even if I had family near by. All I've got really is my grandmother whos on the other side of the country :/
Catherine Straley·
Мама сына-младенца
@cajuncateral also I'm very happy to hear that you found something that helps you manage a bit better, that gives me some hope :)
Melissa·
One thing that helped me was just getting out of the house. Make it a point to go on a walk every day, it really does help.