Sorry for the rant in advance...
My boyfriend is the most amazing man I know, but he keeps telling me we have all this time to prepare for babies when I try to do something to prepare for them, buy them something, or otherwise explain what is missing from what we have so he knows what we have. I'm 32 weeks with twins tomorrow, and when I ordered what they are sleeping in 2 days ago I bought the Diaper bag, some bottles, some cleaning brushes, a drying rack etc. All things we really need for the babies, and he tells me, "why did you get more than the twin pack and play? We have plenty of time!" And I say "Cause if we need to make sure we have the sleeping arrangements then we need stuff to feed them and clean the bottles too!" And he just repeats we have plenty of time! It's so frustrating I started crying cause I'm worried they will come but we won't have everything we need! And he told me he "just gets overwhelmed by everything that needs done", well it overwhelms me when he puts it off! I'm tired, and hurt, and I know every week that goes by is time that I no longer have, and will only get more tired. He did tell me he tells me we have time because he wants to calm me down, but I can't seem to explain to him so he can understand that every time he says that it only makes my stress level rise. I get they aren't his first kids, but his youngest prior to these is about to turn 18, and he never had to worry about a premie. Also it worries me when he says we have time because we just moved a month ago and he did the same thing then when we had to move and freaked out the last couple days of our move cause he had to move it all and no one was helping cause he didn't plan it and wouldn't let me cause "we have plenty of time"... I've reminded him of this, and how he still has stuff in the storage unit of our last place, and he tells me he is "overwhelmed and we have time!" So I feel damned if I wait for him and damned if I don't, cause if I wait he says the same thing as if I just do it, which is "we have time"...
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@sarahbalcom I know he is frustrated, and overwhelmed, and I have told him I understand and try to be receptive. Just not sure what will get him not to be overwhelmed, since when I just do it that seems overwhelming to him, or when I tell him about what needs do, or cause I know from experience waiting to the last minute will make him panic and stress to the max too. But thank you! It just helps to have someone to talk to about it
@sarahbalcom thank you, it would be less overwhelming if he would just say "okay" when I mentioned I bought something or we still need something, lol, you know?
@iwannaplay so bottles wouldn't classify as needed? What if they aren't able to latch? I'm not getting outrageous stuff here, just trying to have some stuff... I've currently been banned by my doctor of actually going to the store, so online shopping is all I can do other then rely on my boyfriend, who while sweet and awesome, isn't someone I could just ask to go to the store cause he wouldn't get whatever requested due to getting sidetracked... or if I needed it, he wouldn't be back with it till 9 o'clock even if I asked for it at 3 pm...
I'm not stressed because we still need stuff, just stressed because when I try I get asked why I'm doing it cause we have plenty of time...
Babies are overwhelming for a first time mommy especially TWO, so I definitely sympathize with you and your concerns ! Pray as well, prayer changes things allow God to work things out too
First mama, take a deep breath. Gods got this all under control ! Second, us as women and child bearers worry way more than our procrastinating spouses, BUT, you are doing the right thing and making your concerns be known and heard. He does seem a little overwhelmed but talk to him and express you understand his frustrations and that you care about how he feels, hopefully that will allow room for the same to happen in turn with him being receptive to your feelings and concerns.
Relax babies don’t need much most of the stuff sold as ‘you need this’ you don’t need at all.
Babies literally need diapers and food
That’s just men they are the last minute species