Well here 'she' is haha! My lil Bub is growing perfectly and I feel so blessed.
Oh hoping, I'm so so sad to hear of this. I can't believe it. I wish I had checked this thread sooner. I have no words that could make you feel better. You'll be in my prayers for sure.
Don't give up hope. I remember exactly 2 years ago today I was recovering from my d&c, depressed, in pain, feeling empty. Now I have my rainbow baby asleep next to me - and it will be you in time. I promise.
Thinking of you xxxx
Just going in for my D&C in a half hour. I truly appreciate all your support.
I received amnio date for this wed but it may be too late. I checked in with my doctor today and he couldn't find my lo's heartbeat. She might very well be gone already. They are doing an emergency u/s tomorrow at the hospital to see if that's true and then they will advise me of my next step.
Thinking of you Maria xx I can relate to blocking people out I found unless they had experienced the loss of a baby my worries and pain were falling on deaf ears.
I found a psychologist really helped me as she specialized in grief and I could talk thru everything as much as I wanted and didn't feel like she didn't care.
Thinking about you
Ohhhh Maria my heart is breaking for you. Reading your last comment has made me cry. I just wish this wasn't happening to you after how long and how much u have gone through to get this far. It's just not fair.
I agree with both you and Ellie. I tend to block people out and tell them I'm fine when really I'm not. I still break down now and think about the day I got told my sweet little baby no longer had a heart beat. But do try and let those close to you know how you feeling.
Just remember we are here for you and we will help you as much as we can x
I know my experience was different to yours, but I too would put a brave face on but then cry myself to sleep. I pushed myself in the end to open up to one close friend completely as I just needed chat openly to someone. It helped immensely as well as having all you guys on here.
I too had lots of people around me, friends and family, that would have been there for me in a heart beat, but for some reason I just couldn't be truly open with them. It's amazing how alone you can feel when surrounded by so many. Which is why I asked x
You grief may be immense but that shows how much love you have for your lo. We are here for you always and remember its ok to be sad and for you to grieve for the pregnancy you wished so hard for. I just wish I could make it all better for you and your lo xx
Thank you all, your beautiful thoughts are so touching and very much appreciated. I cannot express how much all your friendships mean to me. Teeny your story is just as heartbreaking and I wish no other families had to go through this. I am going to send you a pm as I would like to ask you a few questions about your experience, thank you. Ellie I really do have an absolutely amazing support system and I am blessed for that. The only problem is not only am I pulling my heart away from my baby but I tend to shut people out and retreat from those I love too. I'm trying hard not to do that but not quite sure how. To be honest I'm not doing well with any of this. My friends say they can't believe how well I'm doing but I have to hold it together at work where they are. When I'm not at work and thinking about my baby I'm a total and compete mess and its hard for me to pull myself together.
I am so sorry Hun...I understand the bad news, our last son passed inutero due to T21 and severe heart defects. Every visit was more bad news. 13 weeks after our NT/& initial concerns- he passed @25 1/2 weeks. It was the hardest pregnancy ever- everyday wondering if we would get to meet him, if he could pull through. I had two failed amnios due to a sac separation (linked to his T21). I cherish every day I had, but so wish we could have met him alive... Praying for your strength, and feel free to pm me if you need to talk...
Last update: The doc found that the fluid was all through her lil body. On top of that her heart is not developing well at all. He was much kinder to me but the outcome was worse. I am still booking the amnio for 2 weeks to get some unanswered questions.
Hoping, I am sorry that the appointments were that brutal. As long as you can manage it then I think all you can do is live one day at a time, as you say.
She sounds spritely, kicking and jumping around. Hopefully she will make it to the amnio so they can be absolutely positive about what's going on. You are a fabulous mummy already and she is so lucky to have a mummy fight so hard for her xxx
My thoughts and love are with you both xx
Well the NT scan didn't come out as I had thought. The tech didn't say anything though out the scan and I was thinking everything was fine. Lil Bub appeared to be perfect with a strong 140 heart beat and kicking and rolling around. Then I got a phone call at work from my fertility doctor and he said things don't look good. There is fluid on babies heart and lungs and its causing a lot of concern. Could be downs could be trisomy or a whole slew of things. The appointment with my maternity doc the next day pretty much went the same way with a lot of talk about how concerned they were. He rushed a specialist appointment for the day after and that was horrific. The specialist scanned me and said the same thing. Didn't give me any ratio's of how bad it was. She didn't offer me ANY hope what so ever. I mentioned an amnio so they could be 100% sure and she basically said she didn't think the baby would make it to 15 weeks to do the scan in the first place. If I did the scan early then there is more risk to the baby. She was freekn BRUTAL, I was completely crushed. I have never in my life had someone suck all the hope and positivity out of me before.
So I decided to completely ignore that doctor and live every day I have with my beautiful baby. I have another specialist appointment on Tuesday with a different doctor and hoping for a more positive experience and results.
Thanks Ellie, I'm actually not worried at all. I know this little one is completely healthy.
:0)
Can't wait to see her again tho.
Yellowdiamond I'm great thank you. I'm just out of my 1st trimester and totally avoided ms haha. I have my NT scan on the 3rd so only a few more days til I see my lil one again...can't wait.
She is perfect Shell, absolutely perfect! I'm beside myself excited and so in love.
Hi ladies everything is going well thanks no more spotting at all ?, so relieved. I haven't had any ms yet just sore boobs and of course tired.
Yellow I am holding onto the 10 week info that Ellie said and I am hoping she is right. My next scan is June 10th and ill be 9w2d so pretty close to that mark.
Today I am down in the states baby shopping (starting early lol). I am getting amazing bargains and having too much fun.
Thanks for checking in on me guys I hope all is well with you two and I will be putting up my next scan shortly.
Haha Shell I am definitely listening to your mommy voice and really taking it easy. I never want that scare again. My next scan is June 10th and then I will be able to breathe a little easier.
Thanks everyone!! After spotting once the other day and it scaring the ba-geebers out of me I think everything is settled and were back on track now. I had 2 days of bed rest and hoping that did the trick and my little one is still safe.
She is perfect hoping, I think she has your eyes;-) xx
I remember so clearly those early scans and the mixed emotions and anxiety. Terrified but exited all at the same time. It's so amazing when its all good news. You should be able to see her wriggling her toes next time, I did with Jess :-). Every week the odds of delivering a healthy baby increases and your already 6 and a half weeks through. I was told that week 10 you have a 99% chance of delivering a healthy baby. Those odds kept me sane in the early days. Xx
This is your rainbow baby I just know it, looking so forward to hearing all about your next 8 months and beyond :-)
Oh wow!!!! I remember seeing my William at that same stage, and now he's a big chunk of a baby boy! It's real!!!! And 'she' (?) will continue to get stronger each and everyday. We will count down to June the 10th with you!!
At 6w 5d I had a sudden surge of morning sickness....I wonder what cravings and things you will have along the way?! Exciting! ??
How are you hoping? Thinking of you xx