I just kind of need to get this out and vent a little. I'm feeling kind of defeated when it comes to…

I just kind of need to get this out and vent a little. I'm feeling kind of defeated when it comes to my epilepsy and meds. Over the first 8 years I was affected the dosage went from 50mg a day to 400mg slow release and was told I would probably have to continue upping it as I got older. I got it down by 100 after being tested so I was at 300 fast release, I did well on only half of that except some minor petite staring spells. I went to 200 fast release, I knew getting pregnant would off balance them and I may have had to increase them. I did well the first 4 months and thought I was going to be good but then my levels dropped a lot and I had to go back up to 300 fast. They increased my headaches and night terrors again. I get tested again on Friday to see how levels are.. I'm so worried I'm going to end up having to be really high because the higher they go the worse the side effects get. 😭😭😭😭 it's for her health and safety more than my own at this point and I'm not going to fight it because I won't risk anything, but it really sucks.