Ok this may be a long post but hoping a SAHM or really anyone can offer me some insight on this...…

I can understand putting your kid to bed early sometimes because you’ve had a hard day, but not all the time. I also don’t understand why he needs a 3 day break from his child. He should still be helping you out when you have off days. That’s not fair. When my Dh is off he helps with the kids. He also does what he can when he gets home early enough. I would not let him sit around and play Xbox all night. What about you and your marriage. Y’all need time together too. That would make me mad. What does he expect to do when you have another baby. I would tell him things need to change because it sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick. And that’s coming from a sahm.

@taylorsmommy1017 I understand what you're saying and also get that he's probably tired. I'm tired too, I commute an hour and a half to work, put in my 8 hours, and do the same trip back. We're all tired. But when I come home, we eat together and then we play and hangout. Playing consists of sitting on the floor with our daughter, nothing crazy like running around or anything, she doesn't even walk yet lol. Tonight in particular he wasn't even in the room with us playing and when 7pm hit he came in the room and was like can you get the wipes so I can change her and put her to bed. I'm like what? We're playing... idk if he's on autopilot some days and just doesn't even know what he's doing or what. He could've went and laid down or played his game or whatever he was feeling like doing, so I guess that's why I'm confused. I totally understand needing a break though, and that's why I don't have him doing any chores or anything extra on the weekends. And he also has Tuesdays to himself in the house to rest and relax because I take my daughter to work with me.

@bigmama18 TBH I do feel as though I'm getting the short end of the stick sometimes. The weekends I do extra chores like laundry and I cook then etc just so he can have a break from that because he does cook and clean and do all the household stuff throughout the week. It's not technically a day off for him, but it's a day where he's not responsible for everything. Tuesdays he does get the whole day off and that's because I take my daughter to work with me and to visit my parents. That I do mainly because I don't get to spend much time with her aside from weekends. I feel as though I put in more effort but I also feel bad for saying that because I know being a stay at home parent is hard.

@emily526, it sounds like you are doing your part. And I see what you mean on the weekends now. I think you should again try and state that your biggest problem is you are not spending quality time together. With you and him and all of y’all as a family. I don’t feel like you are asking for a lot.

I think is always hard when you need to talk to your partner about your kids one always seems to get defensive when all you’re trying to do is talk to them about the problem. I think it’s best when they’re in a happy mood to talk about why his putting your girl go bed early

@bigmama18 That's what I really just want is family time. Not for him to do anything more around the house.

@rocilove4 Agreed!

On one hand I see why he does it, but it also sounds like you do your fair share around the house. I’m a sahm, and some days my kids are so whiny, spend all day fighting, and lately they keep me so busy that I don’t have time to eat or shower. I do all the housework, cooking, even lawn work, and I’m 24 weeks pregnant with twins. There’s been a lot of days recently where I’m just tired of dealing with the tantrums, so I put them into bed with a movie. But I don’t get much help. My husband doesn’t wake up at night with the kids, and I only ask him to help with housework on the weekends, after I’ve let him sleep in until at least 9.

It sounds like you’re more than helpful, so perhaps a conversation is in order. Or just go hang out with your daughter in her room or something.

@mrschanandlerbong95 First off, you're doing amazing! The fact that you can do all that is really something to be proud of. I'm sure it's difficult staying home with our daughter all day, I can't say I understand, because I don't have to do it. But I do try and make it easier on him by handling our finances/bills, doing the grocery shopping and the laundry, and washing the dishes because he cooks. I also schedule all of our appointments and when our daughter has one I take off from work so we can all go, that's just something that's important to me because she has some minor health issues. I know at the end of each day I'm exhausted, and I'm sure he is too, but anytime I try and talk about things he blows me off. I guess I just have to keep trying!

@oceanbabe424 I think when the roles are reversed and the woman is working while the father stays home there's a little more compassion coming from the side of the working parent. I only say that because as women we tend to be more emotional, so I mean I see that he does work hard and I do want to help. That being said, I'm no saint. There's been days that he has let me sleep in when it was a weekend and his time to do more relaxing. But truthfully our daughter is not a handful right now. She sleeps through the night, wakes up around 8/8:30am and she's really very well behaved. Cooking dinner and keeping the house relatively clean is probably more difficult than watching her during the day.

U sound like my hubby almost. I act like ur so in away if my son is fussy I will try to help him but I know when he is sleepy. So most time I do put him to bed.

Maybe u could just take her on a quick walk or to a playground for 20-40 mins n just get one on one time with her.

@oceanbabe424, I’m not that nice! The kids usually wake up at 7, so two hours seems like plenty for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

@shannae3 I've thought about that, maybe leaving the house even for a half hour. I can get some one on one time and he can have some time to relax. It would be a win win!

Yes yes @emily526, can’t go wrong with a win win 🤗

@nkinsey Lol it's not 3 days "off" persay. It's just the 2 day weekend where he isn't alone doing everything because I'm home. And it's 1 true day off every Tuesday because I take our daughter to work with me and to visit her grandparents.