What people don't realize about grieving over the death of a child.

1) Even if you're a parent you only know this kind of pain from losing one yourself and nothing can compare to this agony. it's very different from any other loss so please don't compare it to losing your grandmother or a parent because it is not the same. Though those are valid devastating losses there is never an acceptance point when it comes to losing a child and the pain and the trama is so tremendous it can not be explained.

2) A child can never be replaced and I'm tired of hearing "you're young you can just have more" the child I am carrying is not the same child that I lost nor should be compared and it angers me that I even have to say this

3) pregnancy after infant loss is a very complicated mix of emotions yes there is a lot of joy but also a lot of overwhelming guilt and you feel like a bad mother for having another baby or like the one you lost is mad or upset with you for being excited in any way because you don't want them to feel replaced which is untrue of course but the guilt is always there with everything you do.

4) If you've been diagnosed with ptsd like me you will understand why going to a childs birthday party sends me into a full blown panic attack even if I thought I was well enough to go a lot of things can trigger me out of no where and I can't help it when it happens

5) Don't tell me I am dwelling or stuck. A loss like this one is not something that goes away and it is insanely rude for you to try and tell a grieving parent when it should be time for them to stop hurting. How fucking dare you.

6) If we want to talk about how much we love our dead babies don't tell us we're being depressing or make snide comments like "here we go" we love our babies just as much as you love your live ones what gives you the right to make us feel bad about talking about them.