Does anyone else think about their birth and the first couple weeks from time to time? I still do...…
Does anyone else think about their birth and the first couple weeks from time to time? I still do... although I now look back fondly — good birth, my little baby instantly stopped crying when they put him on my chest, healthy baby, etc., — i certainly didn’t feel so fondly of it all in the moment. I was so full of anxiety, horrible exhaustion, breast pain, breastfeeding was scary and difficult, recovery from birth and stitches, My body felt off, i felt trapped in my home, hated how when I finally got out of bed it was already dark out (thanks winter)., and i was sooo scared of something bad happening to my baby (choking in his sleep, SIDS, going hungry, etc) that I couldn’t fully enjoy my little newborn. I still feel sad about it. I’m so in love with him now and definitely don’t feel anymore of those issues and wish I could’ve felt that way from the beginning the way I do now. It breaks my heart , Especially when I hear how women were over the moon once their babies were born and they seemed to have no difficulties. Did anyone else experience this? Sorry for the long post.
Maria·
I totally did. I feel like for the first 5 weeks I am so anxious and worried about everything that I didn’t/couldn’t enjoy it. It makes me sad but I think it’s part of the process of becoming a new mum.
Daniela A. ·
Мама сына-младенца
@mariapb, the whole rapid adjustment and change in lifestyle when baby came threw me off too. I knew my little one would be reliant on me but I didn’t realize how stressful it’d be. So glad I’m not alone on that. I guess it’s not talked about often enough that it’s a real slap in the face when it does happen...
Maria·
@carusod91, I’m glad you posted this. I’ve spoke to my spouse about it a few times, I wish I could have just enjoyed my time with the baby instead of constantly stressing, and worrying about it he was eating enough, sleeping enough, etc etc. I think it’s probably a normal thing to go through but I’m glad you’ve highlighted it.
Daniela A. ·
Мама сына-младенца
@mariapb, thank you ❤️. I remember bawling my eyes out from anxiety the day after I got home from the hospital and not understanding why I was freaking out so much. It’s amazing what our bodies and minds go through and what it does to us - I wanted to run away from the problems I was experiencing yet at the same time I was so damn protective of my baby. Anytime anyone kissed my newborn on the cheek I was ready to rage lol. There was certainly no relaxing. And the feeling of how much reliance there was on me was overwhelming because I didn’t wanna fail either and of course I wasn’t used to it. Oh motherhood. so many mixed emotions.. looks like it certainly is normal to experience that.
Daniela A. ·
Мама сына-младенца
@mariapb, certainly threw me off because I love babies and kids and adored my niece so I thought I was gonna be sooo elated when my little one was born lol nope. Can’t separate us now though ;)
Daniela A. ·
Мама сына-младенца
@curious.george, thanks for sharing that ❤️. Birth is tough and when we’re so tired and miserable, it’s hard to enjoy the bundle of love that came out of it. I wasn’t ecstatic either because instantly the reality of parenthood hit me and I was just sooo exhausted. I’ve never been tired like that before in my life. I think things like that just ruin our experiences. Perhaps society and how they paint birth and motherhood to be doesn’t help either..
Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things ever... I eventually had to quit and resorted to exclusively pumping. I long to breastfeed again but he loves his bottle now.
I guess what matters is that we pushed through. That’s true motherhood I would say ❤️
Jane Doe ·
I felt the exact same way as everyone posted. Great to know we’re not alone. Waiting on my second any day now and I’m hoping to enjoy the baby this time but we’ll see how it goes. I definitely don’t feel like an expert by any means!
Daniela A. ·
Мама сына-младенца
@pryce.rowena, looks like it’s more common than not ❤️just often not spoken. Even if you have a similar experience for #2, at least we know this time it gets better. I expect when I plan for #2, it’ll be emotionally hard and tiring but I feel I won’t be as scared about sids or breastfeeding or as trapped given the adjustment from the first baby and more knowledge. At Least that’s what I’m hoping. We’re all in this together, mommas!!
Michelle Winstanley·
Мама двоих (1 год, 5 лет)
I do too, every time I read about someone recently giving birth I’m reminded of my own experience. I’m pretty proud of myself. With both of my children, I was induced and I didn’t get an epidural for either. Which makes me feel like a rockstar. I didn’t do very well at breastfeeding because my nips suck!! But lord knows I tried.. nipple shields, pumping 24/7 it seemed like. I was pretty hard on myself when I started supplementing and more so when my milk dried up.