No judgement please. But for the ladies who've been married and divorced.... when did you know it…

I knew when I finally got fed up with the cheating, emotional and physical abuse and just him not being there for our kids in general. I honestly stopped caring about 3 years before I got the courage to leave, he always threatened if I left he would take the kids and run and I'd never see them again and that's definitely my biggest fear. We've been divorced 5 years and he's still the same person I was married to, so leaving was probably the best decision I ever made for myself and my kids.

I’d say it’s a pretty good sign when you are asking an app of internet strangers. Have you tried counseling? If you’ve tried all you can do and it isn’t any better... it’s probably time to consider those options.

When I realized that there was no changing the way he treated me and the abuse he put me through was making me question living anymore and whenever we would argue and he'd threaten to kill himself, a little voice in the back of my head said I wish you would.

@laniejay I havent. He wouldn't ever go even if I tried. He'd make excuses

When he refused to go to marriage counseling, insisted on sexting other women, never helped around the house or with our child, stopped taking care of himself, and refused to get a better job to support his family. He did nothing but drag me down emotionally and I feel so much better with him. It took me over 5 years to find a guy who treats me right, but it was worth the wait.

I knew it was over, after he told me for the hundredth time, I don't love you, I don't want to be with you, I want a divorce and that time, it stuck. I stopped allowing him to take it back. And I knew nothing was ever going to be the same. He was extremely emotionally abusive and did LOTS of gaslighting, so after he'd say those things he'd take them back and I was dumb enough to believe them. Like I said, the last time stuck and I knew I was officially done. It helped that he was already in a relationship (I found out after the divorce was Finalized) because it allowed him to losen his grasp on me enough for me to realize I was being manipulated and controlled etc. Getting out and divorced was the best thing ever.

When he only wants sex or wants you to do everything and blames you for everything doesn't help with the child or housework or acts like a big child.

When you finally ask yourself the question of “is this what I want my kids to think a relationship should be?”

I didn’t know my ex-husband was cheating on me at the time but inside I knew it had been over for awhile. I just kept trying to make it work because we had kids. He never tried once. I was young and scared that I couldn’t do it on my own. I can say now I don’t know why I stayed so long and that it was so much better after. I met my amazing husband .. I didn’t even know guys could be this great. We’ve been married now for almost 5 years.

Every situation is different and it has to be yours. Don’t base it off what everyone else did.