I Feel Alone... Okay here is my problem... My bf of 4 years, has two children already and is a great…

I Feel Alone...

Okay here is my problem... My bf of 4 years, has two children already and is a great father and pays his child support religiously. The first child he was with the mother for 5 years and was with her through her pregnancy, and birth then things went bad they broke up 6 months later. His second child is with a crazy obsessed female that was only a friend with benefits and she was so obsessed with him when he didnt want to have a relationship with her, that she was running ovulation test behind his back and admitted she purposely forced a baby into this world to try to make him be with her. That didn't work, so he was not there for the pregnancy or birth bc she was mad he was with me instead of getting with her, so she was a bi** and didn't let him be around. (now has a visitation plan through court to see her bc mama is still crazy as heck). Now what I am upset about is, He and I have had two miscarriages and he knows how badly they have hurt me, he knowing that this pregnancy, I was scared to even get happy about or talk about bc I was scared of losing it again. Just when I start to allow myself to be happy about it bc I am now 10 weeks, all he does is like makes fun of me anytime I show my happiness, or if I even motion a symptom, inch my tummy, or for instants I got my Doppler yesterday... He helped me look for the heart beat before we both went to work and we could not find it so he jumped online and looked up Youtube and looked up videos of girls using the doppler... Now When I got home and I got head phones and laid back and was trying to myself (When I Tried It ALONE) he just kept looking back and making odd faces and making funny comments on how i'm obsessed about this pregnancy and saying things that was crushing my happiness and I asked him did you put your first baby mama through this or did you let her enjoy her pregnancy and be happy, he said nope she did what she wanted, just she wasn't obsessed like you are... Another thing is when I got pregnant my sex drive went, so he has to make hints or something and I just give in, well he none stop is mean about it, saying I must have read it online and copying other females who dont want to have sex bc they are scared while they are pregnant... WHICH is not the reason, Yes before pregnancy I was sex sex sex, but SORRY if I am not one the ones that flip and all they want is sex! So we argue over it... I asked him last night if the baby mama he was with through her pregnancy did the same or did she want sex none stop while pregnant, he said she didn't want sex at all! So when I asked why he can't just let me be happy and keep his negative comments to himself and let me enjoy it bc I've lost two... He like a child kept repeating I am grown I will say what I want to say when I want to say it I don't care what you say... I MEAN KEPT REPEATING IT like he was insane???? Also kept adding your obsessed your obsessed, only bc I am happy, so now I feel like I got to hide my feelings around him, when we are on the phone Ppl at my job ask me about it, he is on the other end saying omg there you go your eating it up... SO FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT I CRIED MY EYES OUT UNTIL 2 AM, WOKE UP WITH A SORE TUMMY MUSCLES... What am I to do? He acts like he is the only one who can look up stuff on babycenter, whattoexpect and talk about it and its okay... But when it comes to me he is mean!