just need to vent I guess

Why must my mom's side of the family make every holiday so stressful??? It used to be we have Thanksgiving dinner around 3 or 4 at my grandma's house. Then we did Christmas Eve at Grandma's. Well a few years ago Grandma started to decline. COPD. So me my sister & SIL started going over there to make dinner. As of 2 years ago my grandma started making us all goes to her sister's house. But the weird thing is grandma said she doesn't want to go over there. So again this year we offered to cook dinner at her house. No we're all going to her sister's house but they are eating dinner before we get there. Which we are all okay with. But my grandma for some reason thanks we should bring a whole dinner over there. But why? If that's the case why can't we just do it like we used to? It's two days before Thanksgiving and I'm still not sure what the plan is. And I know this sounds harsh but everyone keeps telling me Oh you have to go she's getting older, but honestly she's not the only one dying. So I'm about to say screw it and not go to any of it. I will see my brother and sister my nieces and nephew at dad's family. Come home make dinner the way used to be at Grandma's with my husband and kids. And if I feel like it I'll go visit Grandma on Saturday. I'm just over the in decisiveness. I've already let it be known she has a month to figure out Christmas she better get started. And to put it out there before it gets brought up. She doesn't have to buy anything when we make it we stay we clean up afterwards. And it can't be because she doesn't want us all at her house because if we go to her sisters it triples the amount of people she is around. Which honestly her or I shouldn't be around that amount of people with either of our health issues.