Thank you everyone I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for their well wishes and kind…

Thank you everyone

I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for their well wishes and kind words. I kind of disappeared for a few days to take in all the information given. I feel a bit better about everything today. Tomorrow may be a different story. But I'm kind of having to take this one day at a Time. Here's what I found out at the doctor's office. From the moment he walked in you could tell by his face it wasn't good news. He was very honest with me and said at this point my chances to live more than 5 more years are not very good. But that doesn't mean I don't fight it and try my very best to beat the odds. When your doctor literally says "this isn't the f*** ing news I wanted for you" while he was crying himself you know you have a hard fight ahead of you. But that honest conversation with him made me love him even more because it showed he was a human and not just a doctor. I had a family meeting right after the appointment to tell my parents, grandparents and both my siblings. The less I had to repeat what the doctor said the better so I'm a big fan of family meetings. So much easier. I started my chemo pills Tuesday morning I go Monday to start the IV chemo.( I was scheduled to start the last appointment but he didn't want to put me through that after getting all this info.) And we talk more on Monday about adding another pill to my treatment plan. But so far so good. The only side effects I have noticed at this point from the pill is insomnia, (really bad)& being cold all the time. I will fight this thing but I'm being realistic when I say my odds are not in my favor. I will fight but if my flight isn't working I will accept that and stop treatment. That way I can spend what time I have left with my babies. I don't want their memories of Mommy to be ones where she was too sick to do anything. My husband is having a really difficult time accepting all this. He doesn't know how to handle so he's kind of living in denial right now. Which I understand and I get. So is my mom at this point but I really hope they can find a way to come around soon. Just to be able to enjoy the time we have. So some things that have been put in the works since Tuesday. I think I have found a family attorney that is willing to do my DD's adoption paper work either for pro bono or very cheap. That way she gets to stay with her daddy without a fight. And my mom's friends have started arranging help cover daycare expenses for the babies. And last but not least this mama is looking into planning a Disney vacation. Because I will see my baby girl's face when she meets Minnie Mouse for the first time!! And I want to say sorry this is so long. But thank you ladies being able to put all this out there really helps so much! Oh and the best part my babies come home today!!!!!! I can't wait I miss them so much.