just overwhelmed.... So I finally got released from the hospital this last Tuesday. It took a lot…

just overwhelmed....

So I finally got released from the hospital this last Tuesday. It took a lot longer for my body to start working the way they wanted before they sent me home. I miss my babies like crazy. DD is with my dad and DS has been with my sister. I finally get both of them back on Saturday. I'm still not supposed to be lifting on them for another 3 weeks but I can't do it. I need my baby's home now. I can feel myself getting depressed over this ostomy bag. I don't want to go anywhere do anything and anytime I have to change it or clean it I end up crying. I know this is what I need to make sure I'm here for my babies in the long run. But damn I never hated something so much. Then when I get home I have to go take out a payday loan because let's face it being in the hospital is not cheap. Go to deposit the money into the ATM and the Machine errors out. So no money deposited in my account and the bank is telling me it takes 7 to 10 business days to fix the issue. So in the meantime I have to call my mil so she can wire some money to us until it gets fixed. Then I find out my brother is paying for my family to go to my nephew's birthday dinner. Which I'm not sure I'm ready to go out in public yet. But I'll do it because my nephew wants me there. And apparently while I was in the hospital my brother and brother in law's made a plan to get me moved to our new apartment not this weekend but next. Because they want my husband to be able to come by anytime I might need help with the kids. And last but not least I call the picture place to try and order the kids pictures I just had done before all this came to light. And my family had already paid for the pictures. I am so grateful and I love them so much. But at the same time I feel bad because I feel like it's too much. I don't know how I could ever pay them back. I just have a lot of weird emotions right now. Happy sad overwhelmed depressed excited to get my babies home but so scared at the same time.....