Because this is my comfort zone

Because this is my comfort zone

I am having a really emotional day. So today 2yrs ago is the day I received my official bad blood test result when pregnant. My hcg wasn't rising as normal. But at this time my nurse called and said it barely went up at all. She ordered an ultrasound the next day (2yrs tomorrow) and seen my baby's heartbeat in my tube. Next day (04/01/2015) I had injections done of methotrexate. I lost my baby 3days later. I think subconsciously it's hurting more than I realized. I literally had to walk out of work for my lunch to cry in my car. I have wanted to cry all day. I am now 3dpo and I swear I'm begging God to let it happen this month. My heart is so heavy right now. Even 2yrs later that pain is there and I don't feel like a normal person with these mood swings. The Sadness. The hurt. I just need some good news to change this time of year for me! ?