Help me please My son will be one on the 26th he still wants me to pat his back until he falls…

Help me please

My son will be one on the 26th he still wants me to pat his back until he falls asleep but since we lowered the crib I just can't do that anymore is straining my back so much. Today I tried to let him cry it out. He cried for 30 minutes with me going in 3 times to re assure him everything was okay before falling asleep he only slept for 30 minutes though woke up freaking out. I tried comforting him until he stopped crying and walked out again but he just cried and cried so I just took him out the crib and we ended nap time. I need major advice I can't keep doing this with him physically and emotionally it's very draining. What will it take for me to get him to fall asleep on his own. We also live in a apartment so him crying for long periods of time isn't ideal I don't want people to think something is wrong. But he keeps waking up at night and needing me to pat him to sleep it's too much and I think he's getting too old for that.