I feel like a virgin this Thanksgiving! Help!

I need suggestions! Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday. I mean it is the absolute best!! When my exhusband and I celebrated the holidays; from age 16 to 29, we went to my mom's, his dad's, then his mom's. Even after we had our 3 sons, we carted them everywhere. No big deal. So for the last 5 years (6 holidays seasons, basically we alternated holidays, no big deal. When my ex had the boys, I had dinner for my family at my house. Never an issue. Now here is my issue: this is the first Thanksgiving in our home with my SO. We have four children altogether, one on the way. We are doing dinner at our house (I am sorry for the redundancy.) We have two distinctly different ways we want our dinner...He wants to make the turkey, however, he roasts it therefore there is no stuffing or gravy from the drippings. I feel that is 3 things I am compromising on food wise. I am okay with that. There's more to Thanksgiving than turkey, right? (Food wise) So I have planned out the rest of the meal. His mom asked if she could bring anything and I told her yes, dessert please!! Well, he informed me he is having (not asking or suggesting, telling) his mom make her "mashed potatoes" and "sweet potatoes". Ummmm, okay.....then why are we even hosting dinner? I know it sounds babyish. We have spent the last 3 holiday seasons with our own families due I do not want to bounce around anymore. I have no problem attending dinner at his mom's if that is what he wants to do. I just feel that if we are going to integrate as a family, we each need to bring traditions to the season, and compromise. How do I bring this up to him that it is upsetting for me without being snarky? I usually can talk to him but I feel put out because the way he told me this is how dinner is going to be done. Thanks for listening and any advice you give my b**** fest, I just want suggestions. I feel like a big crybaby!