Fortysixandtwo, I'd redirect his behaviour and give him something appropriate to hit, like a pillow (and reinforce that we only hit pillows when we are upset, frustrated, angry). It's ok to let kids know they can feel negative emotions too but explain we never hit other people or animals...or show him other ways of getting his frustration out...

I think what the girls have said is a good method to start with for your daughter

But what methods would you guys use for a 1.5-2 year old then? Because hitting at this age is out of pure frustration or anger, usually comes along with a quick cry and throwing things on the floor. Like a little tantrum.

If I was to grab his hand at 1.5-2 doing the gentle patting, I think it would just frustrate him more and not get the point across that it hurts

You do have to do what works for you and we learn as we go. I think its trial and error. My son has gotten a lot better, he doesn't pull hair anymore but I remember crying one day thinking what am I doing wrong and how do I stop it and is what I'm doing right, I felt like I failed as a parent but it's a phase most children go through. Sometimes we might look back and go ok I could have done this differently or that worked really well.

I'm definitely not against smacking, I got a smack as a kid if I did anything wrong and so did all my sisters and my brother and we all turned out fine and we are all very close.

it depends. i used to say no hitting and then if they comtinued if smack them and if it kept going id put them in their room. my first wasnt a hitter but the girls have been.

coop do what works for u. im a smacker and my kids dont hit me now.

my mum is a huge anti smacker and my sistet is almost 7 and physically attacks my mum. she bites, punches, slaps, threatens. my mum told me that my sister bent her hand back the other day that much that it hurt to pick up the kettle. so there, imo, isnt an argument of u cant smack coz it teaches to smack. all u can do is what works for each child. all 3 of mine have different things that will effect them.

for a long time the only way to discipline my daughter was to take her pretty dresses.

so do what works =)

Do whatever works for your kids Coop :-)

That's cool coop. I personally won't use that technique but you do what is best for your family :)

Worked for me.. ?

I say "ow, we don't hit, that isn't nice." I never slap or smack, that's doing exactly what you are saying not to do. Very confusing!!

I'll just keep doing what I'm doing then and hopefully it all settles for her. And I'll try the stomping thing too! Thank you ?

I do the naughty cot for 2 mins (it's an old portacort set up in the games room which we don't use dsily). He learnt pretty quick. I use this for all discipline since about 20 months (he's now 27 mobths).

He laughed to start with but u just persisted until he realised.

I was brought up with that method which is why it was my go to and it worked after a little while

What about a one year old coop? I try that method n all he do is laugh at me ? I'm just guessing that he is too young to know it ? just a tap though. And other people say to grab their hand and gently stroke it 3 times did that as well! Must have tickle him so he just laugh,?

It did work yes, he doesn't hit anymore.

I didn't hit him on the hand hard just hard enough for him to be like 'whoa ok that's a bad thing'

I guess in a way it looked like it came across as 'OK me hitting someone hurts them!'

When I see him getting frustrated at playgroup with another kid in his face he looks straight at me and I get a look on my face and shake my head and he moves on.

Yes agree with tsv as well with redirecting hitting to something else more appropriate if she is frustrated. Sometimes kids that are not that verbal yet need an avenue to vent their frustration.

I pretty much do what tsvgirl does.

I had the exact same problem a couple of months ago. My son is 19 months. It was that and pulling hair!

I'd take his hands and tell him hitting or pulling hair is not nice, it hurts, we need to be gentle and I'll show him how to be gentle for eg stroking his head and I'll tell him that's much better, we need to be gentle because pulling hair hurts and its not nice to hurt anyone.

What I do is what I do at work (early learning centre) and it's pretty much what @lypa said when my ds hits. I show him my gentle hands and get him to replicate my gentle hands. If this doesn't work I ask them to sit and watch their peers/siblings play. My rule is if you can't be kind you will have to watch everyone else play and when your ready to be kind/nice you may join in.

Hopefully it will calm down once she is comfortable in the new house it always takes my dd about a week to settle after we move the faster i unpack the better (unpacking sucks tho!!) If she is doing out of frustration then maybe 'i understand you are frustrated we can stomp our feet or hit a pillow when we are feeling frustrated but we can't hit people or animals because it hurts us' then help her stomp or whatever you are comfortable with her doing when she needs to.

Pretty much the same as tsv but I usually have a little fake cry and tell him that he hurt mummy. He gets this little concerned look on his face and generally gives me a little hug or pat after lol

I also demonstrate the behaviour I want them to show instead so like tsv, I will say 'gentle hands' and then hold their hand and show them what I want them to do (like stroking).

Does that stop him coop? Because your telling him off for something and then doing it yourself...

Tsvgirl, I've been doing that since she was little but doesn't seem to be helping. Maybe when she settles more.. I hope it stops soon lol she's pretty strong for an almost 2 year old ?

I say gentle hands then show her by holding her hand and getting her to gently touch my arm or face wherever she hit (obviously within reason) if she continues i move away from her and tell her i cant talk to her until she is being kind. She would have no impulse control whatsoever at this age but it should start developing soon. It's a normal phase most if not all toddlers go through at some stage.

I give a smack on the hand and say

'We don't hit people that is naughty!'