I really appreciate all your responses. ?
I will mention all those things.
My husband and I have been in an agreement about him not driving. He gets confused with the rules of the road and doesn't understand why others aren't following the laws. A few weeks ago, he went to the store, for lost, and ended up 30 minutes away not knowing where he was.
I've told my mom that I didn't think he should be driving, and I think she is in denial it is as bad as it is.
Every year my mom goes to AL to visit my sister and her family. She meant to be gone two weeks, and I told her she needed to come home early. To save his feelings and dignity, we convinced him it was in the plans to come home earlier.
I don't know I those are signs of dementia.
I need to sit down with my mom and have a serious heart to heart. I feel so bad for her.

Dementia can progress slowly, linearly, orderly, progressively, quickly, in a non linear fashion, manifest in unexpected ways, include sundowners or not- basically it can take so many forms and is so variable.

I would probably look into adult day services, to start.

You should get a second option. My grandfather is in his 80's and starting to forget a lot. They say it's old age but his memory loss seems worse than that to me. He gets embarrassed so he refuses to go to doctor about it. There was a medicine he took years ago that is said to cause memory loss which they then took him off of it. Maybe if he has taken long term medications check to see it any long term side effects are memory loss. I'm sorry op.

I agree with pp, if you believe there is something wrong with him, get in contact with your local agency on aging and ask them for recommendations on where to go, or who to call.

My mom was in her 30's when she got severe memory loss with her undiagnosed mental disorder. They labeled it as Alzheimer's but since she was in her 30's they didn't officially diagnose. Unfortunately she passed away in an accident, and never got her diagnosis. But she went from being rational, to wanting to take off out the front door into oncoming traffic in a matter of a month or so. She couldn't comprehend a lot of things, would sit and talk to herself and became extremely violent when her psychiatrist cut off her medicine. We eventually had to put her in a nursing home for her own safety (and ours) but losing a parent while they're still physically here is so very difficult.

I agree on no driving. That is very dangerous.
My dad took my grand-père for the test the do for elderly. He failed that miserably. The only way to prevent him from driving was my parents unhooking things from the car, taking the keys, and eventually taking the car all together.
Be prepared for a lot of unpleasantness.

I second the dementia people can become aggressive and forgetful and so on he should really not be driving and be evaluated for it

Thanks Maddyson. I've encouraged my mom to get a second opinion.
I just think we need to pursue all options.

Those aren't normal signs of aging from a medical standpoint. I'd get a second opinion. Sounds like beginning dementia.

I think there are ways to slow it down. Maybe medications...? I can't remember because my paternal grandparents both had late stages. My grand-mère was in the late stages. I think it was the same for grand-père. The scans of his brain was quite the sight.
I hope your step-dad will seek help.
You're very welcome!

Yes, you are right about the stubborn part.
I really feel like it could get better-ish or at least stop it professional g so fast if he were more active. I'm not naive and think he will be cured, but I think a proactive approach is better than sitting on our hands.
Thanks CRA, I really appreciate you listening and your advice.

My dad is a very stubborn and hard headed man that can be an ass sometimes, and I say this lovingly. He gets called out on his crap by my mum and he gets mad at himself because he doesn't want to be his dad. His mind messes with him sometimes. He has his inter struggles.
The difference between my dad and yours is my dad keeps busy. He's retired from work and has been since I was 15-16. He likes to make things. He was a cop and a mason. He will find himself something to do. He even lifts weights still like it's nothing. My mum likes to stay busy too. It's good to stay busy. Working your brain is good. My dad likes to do that. He's a very smart man.
It is hard to watch someone lost them-self. When it's a stubborn person it makes it even more difficult to get them to do things.

I don't mean to speak badly of him, but he was kind of an arrogant man when he was working. He was a very successful electrician, high up in the company.
He has basically stopped exercising his brain.
He's very stubborn and proud now.
I've suggested he try and take some college classes for fun, start a bible study, go out to lunch with friends, volunteer, ect. And he's not interested.
If this is what the end result is, it won't change us being there for him. I just feel bad for my mom. It's so stressful and heartbreaking for her.

If he is becoming someone he isn't then it could be dementia or Alzheimer's. My paternal grandparents have gone through these. My grand-père just recently passed away. He was a bad person before his struck and it only made his worse to the point he couldn't hide it. He got extremely violent. He couldn't remember a thing. My grand-mère is a sweet little woman, but hers has made her quite mean. She doesn't know who anyone is at this point. Sometimes it clicks and sometimes she tries to remember who you are.
I would suggest to keep checking him.
It could very well just be age. My dad is in his 60s, almost 70s, and is quite forgetful. It can get frustrating, but I remind myself he is older and the cards aren't exactly on his side genetic wise. My maternal granny is quite forgetful. She's just in her 70s. She forgets a story she's told us before, but we generally don't mind. My late pawpaw had great memory for his age and I sure do miss him.
I think as we get older we tend to get forgetful. My mum does. I do too and I'm not that old.
Just try to have patience and look out for him. Help him as much as you can and try to see to it he is taken care of.

Thank you for your response.
I will pass that information to my mom.
It's so heartbreaking. I went to lunch yesterday with my no. And she was sobbing and telling me she doesn't know what to do. ?

Contact your local social worker team and ask for a memory assessment, if there is an issue that isn't showing on a scan then it more than likely is just old age and unfortunately that's what's on the cards for him, I work with a lot of older people who have this and there is no explanation for it but a memory assessment will confirm it if it's that bad and help can still be arranged for him that way x