Insensitive Doctor staff

Im so sorry your going thru this and they made you feel worse. :-(

There is a lady on YouTube that had a stillbirth from a septum in her uterus she had surgery done for it and just had another baby you should check out her channel. Missy lanning

Oh, mama, that's awful! I'm sorry you're having a bad experience already.

How rude. You need to go online Yelp or yellowpages and write a review. Most hospitals and doctor offices have people who browse them and check what people say about them. It may help them change some staff in the future and not treat another hurting woman this way.

First i want to say sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is hard to go through. I am also high risk and went to my high risk after my miscarriage to hopefully prevent a second. However, she probably didn't have your chart in front of her to know your medical history, just a sheet to know the basics. When i went for my appointment after even the doctor didnt know i had lost the baby, my regular OB never told them. So it might not have been their fault, your regular OB miggt not have relayed all the information. Also, scheduling doesnt have and read your chart prior to making rescheduling appointments so she would have no way to know. She probably could have handled the situation better, seems a but callous to flat out say our pregnant patients are more important. See the doctor, judge the doctor based on the doctor. He or she may be an amazing doctor but you are already writing them off due to your experience with one person who will have no impact on your care. I really hope that they find a reason and that they can fix it. Mine never found a reason for my miscarriage but I have since safely delivered a healthy baby boy and am pregnant with a second boy thanks to my high risk doctor. He is amazing and once I told him that I had lost the baby he was super sympathetic and caring and reassuring. Good luck, don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch, give each apple a chance, if they are all rotten, then dump em.

Oh I am so sorry you had to experience that. No one should ever have to go thru what you/your family did. At your appointment you should mention this to the doctor even if the office is actually ran by a management company. Once again I am terribly sorry. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

My Drs office did something similar after our daughter died at 36 weeks. (She lived for two hours) I went in for my six week follow up and the nurse was asking me routine questions. I was trying to hold it together. Then she asked me if I was breast or bottle feeding. I stared at her and said "she died" then couldn't stop crying. I would use it as a chance to help educate others I shared w my dr how this hurt and suggested they mark the charts somehow so everyone would know.

I'm sorry for your loss.

With that being said, don't judge a doctor by their staff. If you end up liking the doctor then I would mention something to them. I'm sure they don't what to lose patients because they have a tactless employee. They should appreciate your feedback and educate the person appropriately.

I don't see how they were insensitive, was an honest mistake

I know with my doctor, they make sure they have an up to date chart and it's at least skimmed before calling.

There were nicer ways they could have said "we need to delay your appointment". They should have checked to see pregnant/not pregnant.

Unfortunately, while a doctor can be amazing, if the staff isn't, there's a problem. They are privy to your medical history and if they aren't careful, can really hurt you.

I asked for a specific doctor yesterday who deals with high-risk with this pregnancy because he did my d&c when I lost baby 1. He had on my chart "trigger:abortion" which I later found out meant "don't call it an abortion" to his staff. They were amazing to say miscarriage or loss. They got it.

It's hard to understand unless you've been there how a few words can just completely decimate you. That's one of those waves that you don't expect and it hurts. They weren't trying to be mean but when dealing with the loss of a baby, being a bit sensitive is appreciated.

Take care.

@s2, that broke my heart. I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't imagine and hope they revamped their policy so no momma ever goes through that again.

I'm sorry, I should have clarified a bit better. I have been to this practice many times. I've had 4 pregnancies and I've been going there for my previous three. I've never been a huge fan but since they are the only high risk around, I've continued to go because I haven't had any other options. During my pregnancies, I had bi-monthly and weekly appointments there and being that I work full time, I didn't have the option of going to the doctor 1.5 hours away.

The doctors are very cold. They don't seem like they care at all. They speak at you, not to you. Again, they are the only ones around who do this specific procedure so I don't have any other options.

With this particular staff member, I've talked to her multiple times for significant periods of time. She made my appointment, she called me to confirm my appt, and then called me again today. They should have seen my appt was a "consult", even if they didn't have my chart.

It was unacceptable.

I know how you feel. After my 3rd loss the doctor straight up looked at my husband and says, "you must be the problem, since she had a healthy baby before you." If my husband hadn't gripped my arm I'd have punched him.

Same as you, he was the best doctor in miles. Thank God I moved states away and my new doctor has been awesome. After 6 miscarriages and only 1 with her, she immediately referred me to the fertility specialists and high risk doctors. It's almost 45 minutes from me, but she says they're amazing. So I'll drive it.

If you are in the Charlotte, NC area, probably not since you said there weren't many options, I can give you the info!

Tuesday last week I lost my baby. The doctor, ultrasound tech, nurses and even the ladies at the desk all stayed after hours to make sure I got in and got seen without having to wait in the ER. seriously just an amazing experience after the last doctor being such a douche.

I'm so sorry for your losses, pp! It's so terrible, no one should ever have to lose their baby.

I'm here now in the waiting room and she came and apologized to me. She said she knew what she said was insensitive and she was very sorry. That was nice of her.

She might be a lot like me - if I think about what I want to say, I'm okay. If I'm distracted at all, I sound like a horrible person.

I know it's not an excuse but I am so glad she apologized. I bet she clued in right after she hung up and was kicking herself. Hopefully she doesn't make that mistake again.

And you're just too sweet to be mean too - even accidentally.

Oh my gosh. That's horrible of them. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I would mention something to the doctor upon arrival. How unprofessional of her.

ETA: Just noticed your update. She probably realized how insensitive that came off once she hung up the phone.

I'm glad she apologized. She probably put her foot in her mouth and immediately regretted saying that. I hope you get answers today ?

I'm glad she apologized, you definitely deserved one. ❤️ So sorry.

When I had my miscarriage I went in for what was supposed to be my 8 week checkup and since my miscarriage had not been confirmed yet by my ob they wanted me to fill out paperwork for the new baby and when I told them I didn't need the paperwork they looked at me like I was an idiot and said "well if your pregnant you need to fill this out" I politely and calmly said "well If I had not miscarried I would gladly fill the paperwork out" the poor lady looked at me and apologized. I felt bad but I thought it was quite insensitive but how was she supposed to know!

Op I'm so so sorry for your loss! I could not imagine the pain you must be going through especially losing your angel at 20 weeks! My thoughts are with you!

Thanks ladies! The appointment went well. He said he didn't want to do any additional testing and wouldn't recommend the septum be removed since I've had three healthy pregnancies prior to this loss. I'm actually very happy with that because I was really confused about what I'd do if they recommended it.

So, no answers for why we lost our sweet boy but they are not concerned with any future pregnancies. He said we can try again whenever we feel emotionally ready. Physically - he gave me the all clear.