SIL's shower today... And I didn't go. ? DH had to work today so I used that as my excuse but I still feel really…
SIL's shower today...
And I didn't go. ? DH had to work today so I used that as my excuse but I still feel really guilty. We were 7 weeks apart in our pregnancies and were both having boys. I have three older brothers; my best friend brother is her husband. I love them both so much. I'm not sad, mad, or jealous when I see her, I'm the complete opposite actually. I'm SO happy and excited for them (this is their first). I still talk to her about her pregnancy often. I'm just so sad for myself. I didn't want to cry there as she opened all the sweet little things for my precious nephew, I knew all I'd think about was Enoch. I didn't want people to feel bad for me or awkward around me. I just feel bad for not going and I'm sitting here crying my eyes out about it. About all of it. They should have been best friend cousins. It shouldn't have ended like this, he was so loved by everyone in our family. There was a place for him. My heart is still so broken.
deleted-user·
It's ok to excuse yourself from things that will upset you. You need to focus on taking care of yourself, and I'm positive everyone there understood. Sending you lots of love ??
deleted-user·
Don't feel guilty for not going. You have every right to not have to go and everyone should understand that. I wouldn't go either. Your a lot stronger than me though. Your a great momma, I wouldn't worry. I'm really sorry?
deleted-user·
I'm sure theyd completely understand why it'd be hard for you to go even if you didn't have an excuse, try not to feel guilty. There's no way I'd be able to go. Sending love your way! ❤️
deleted-user·
As a mom, we're always looking out for everyone else's feelings and making sure everyone else is happy. But we have to remember that our feelings still matter. Doing things for ourselves or things that will help us with our grieving process is important. I'm sure she will understand.
deleted-user·
I didn't go to any baby showers for like almost 2 years after my still birth. I was happy for my friends and family and their new babies I just was too sad for myself to go. It's perfectly ok to not attend and people understand why you didn't come. My sister would get a gift and put my name on it for all our family members showers because I couldn't bring myself to even go into the baby section of stores to do it myself.
deleted-user·
MamaPistone said it perfectly.
You are one loving, thoughtful woman. I'm sure they'd understand.
Ashley Roan·
Thank you ladies, she completely understands. I just feel bad, like I should be stronger. And sad, because I miss my baby!
deleted-user·
? This is completely understandable!
So sorry your heart hurts
deleted-user·
I'm so sorry, i can only imagine how you must be hurting. I'm sure everyone understood, you've been through so much. Prayers and thoughts for you and your family. You are a very strong woman!
deleted-user·
Hugs mama.
deleted-user·
Even the strongest person in the world has to admit they can't do something at times. It's okay to protect yourself. It's healthy to allow yourself permission to not do certain things right now. It's healthy to have established boundaries.
I find, often, we expect to much of ourselves when trying to grieve so think of yourself like a friend for a moment. If a friend told you what you just said, would you feel they weren't strong enough or would you tell them they need time and it's okay to skip events that will hurt .
I think we all know you'd have a kind word and shoulder for them. Start changing that critical voice in your head to that of a friend. You deserve to be as kind to yourself as you are to others :)
Ashley Roan·
Thank you, Sammi! That's excellent advice!