Is she out of her mind?! Please help me!
My best friend is throwing me a baby shower in June. Which is greatly appreciated. My DF and I offered to pay for food and drinks as its a jack and Jill shower and I would never expect my friend to pay for a cook out. My MIL emailed me a guest list of everyone she wants invited. She wants us to invite 60 people to this baby shower knowing we can't afford to pay for food like that and that my friend is throwing the shower. My friend is not made of money and neither are we. I think MIL is asking a little too much by inviting all of these people. Though I know they all won't show up I still think it's a bit too much. How do I talk to DF about this outrageous amount of people she wants us to invite? That number isn't including his immediate family or my immediate family.
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There family also has a habit of not rsvping and showing up. Or rsvping and not showing up. I could imagine the mess it would make with not having enough food for everyone or how much food would go wasted. DF and I discussed it and we will be going threw the list and weeding people out that are not necessary. He is also going to tell his mom why we are weeding said people out and explaining to her that we are not a bank and can't afford to have all of these people.
Um no. I'd pick the people off the list that you think are appropriate to invite. Have your DH help you so you don't miss someone important. It is entirely possible that these people she thinks won't show, will. That is way too many people for someone else's home. Especially on top of the others you will be inviting. She doesn't need to know you didn't invite someone unless she asks. Use her list as "suggested" invites.
I don't want to sound mean when I say she isn't hurting for money either. She can afford to help pay but she doesn't want to. She knows me DF and friend throwing the shower are not made of money. I don't know why I need a bunch of people I've never met invited to a shower for my baby. I spoke with SIL (DFs brothers wife) she agrees that she is asking too much for not footing the bill for this and that when SIL had her wedding she had to cut out some of her own friends who she has known her whole life for people she hardly knew that MIL wanted invited. I know that all 90 will not show up but even if half of the 90 invited show up that is still a lot of people to feed.
She won't throw a separate shower because she just threw her daughter an extravagant bridal shower. I told DF that he needs to talk to her about it because I don't feel comfortable having that conversation with her. Not to mention it took me 2 months to get a guest list from her and she didn't even give addresses. Well I would love to know where these invites are being mailed to. Half the people she wants invited I've never met before !
Tell your mil that you'll be providing food for the people that you've invited and that if she plans on having 60 more people attend that she'll be responsible for providing the food for them. That may push her into paring the list down some when she finds out that she's now responsible for feeding them. If not and she's willing to provide that amount of food for all those people, and you have a big enough venue to host them all, then I don't see a problem inviting them all.
THANK YOU! She wants me to invite people she knows won't show up also because it would be wrong to invite them. Also she has no intentions of shelling out any money for this shower.
@monkey I like the way you think!!! ? (as i back away slowly)