I wouldn't start anything about it but if be telling DH that under no circumstances will either be watching my baby and he can deal with them. The last thing you need is more drama.
I learned a long time ago to not poke the bear until you have to with in laws.
What I mean is, until the time comes when she actually is asking to babysit, don't address it. Don't worry about it. Don't get worked up over it. And certainly don't start drama over it. Let it go.
Then when the time comes and she asks to watch the baby, a clear "no" from your husband is all it takes.
It is your husband's family and I believe he should be the one to lay ground rules. My husband quickly told certain members of his family when they asked to keep our children NO and his reasoning was "because as a parent that's what HE thought was best".
I handle my family, he handles his when issues arise. It has kept us united and strong.
He doesn't understand why I say I don't like them. He expects me to just forgive them and I don't want to. I can't trust them and I know they are fake and liars and I don't want that around my son. I really don't even want the baby around them at all. And he missed his mom and sister so he just started texting his mom and now they are best friends again even though they talk crap about me and make fun of me. They will text back and forth like I don't know.
And now it's all about them, we never have alone time anymore it's always "lets go hang out with them and do this with them" , I beg to just have alone time and he will invite them in front of me so I can't say no.
My MIL is also a crazy person and casually mentioned how she's going to take my DD on vacation with her in a couple years.
I don't even let her watch her alone because she doesn't respect me and she goes against what I say all the time. Plus, she's just not that good with my DD. My DD is never happy when it's just them one-on-one. She screams and cries, which she doesn't do with people she feels comfortable with.
But, because she is my MIL and DF's only Mom and one of DD's grandmas, I make it a point to have her over once a week to visit. I am always there though. I don't address the fact that I won't leave them alone together, because there's no need to.
I think it's great she's back in your life, but you make the rules about your baby. Don't want her or SIL to babysit? They don't have to, ever. I wouldn't keep them from your baby though. Just supervise and make very clear boundaries. If they don't respect those, like "we don't curse around my baby", then re-evaluate. Let them know if they don't respect you, they won't be allowed over. Once we stood up to my MIL, her act changed real quick.
That is an issue with your husband, not your inlaws.
Your husband needs to realize he is now married to you and you and his child should be his priority. I encourage my husband to have healthy relationships with his family but if there came a time when they were disrespecting me or our children, he would choose me any day.
There was even a time when I was dead wrong but he took my side. I later apologized (to his brother and to him) but I knew my husband had my back. He told me he thought I was wrong but he stood by me when I said his brother wasn't welcome in our home. And of course that isn't the case any longer.
Your husband needs to hear you out and put his foot down. If he wants a relationship with his family he needs to set rules. No bashing you ever.
He also doesn't need to tell them any problems you two have. Every couple has arguments but ours stays between the two of us and we resolve them as a couple. If he runs to them with every issue of course they won't like you. They will only hear bad things and won't be around when the two of you make up.
You two need to have a serious talk about your relationship. Let him know you aren't trying to make him cut his family out, you just want some respect.
Then when the baby gets here you can address your concerns with him about his family when they actually want to keep the baby.
(Lots of times I got myself worked up over nothing and his family disappeared before we even had to deal with certain issues. Try not to let yourself get sucked into the bottomless pit of inlaw drama before it happens. My husband's family used to do the same thing to me. I don't let them bother me anymore. I tell my husband to take care of it and he does.)
Ignore them and deal with it when it comes , and if your a stay at home mom it won't ever have to come if you don't want it and you know that so just smile and laugh not agreeing just a nod and smile
deleted-user·
I wouldn't start anything about it but if be telling DH that under no circumstances will either be watching my baby and he can deal with them. The last thing you need is more drama.
deleted-user·
I learned a long time ago to not poke the bear until you have to with in laws.
What I mean is, until the time comes when she actually is asking to babysit, don't address it. Don't worry about it. Don't get worked up over it. And certainly don't start drama over it. Let it go.
Then when the time comes and she asks to watch the baby, a clear "no" from your husband is all it takes.
It is your husband's family and I believe he should be the one to lay ground rules. My husband quickly told certain members of his family when they asked to keep our children NO and his reasoning was "because as a parent that's what HE thought was best".
I handle my family, he handles his when issues arise. It has kept us united and strong.
Best of luck!?
Mrs.Santorno ·
В ожидании первенца
He doesn't understand why I say I don't like them. He expects me to just forgive them and I don't want to. I can't trust them and I know they are fake and liars and I don't want that around my son. I really don't even want the baby around them at all. And he missed his mom and sister so he just started texting his mom and now they are best friends again even though they talk crap about me and make fun of me. They will text back and forth like I don't know.
Mrs.Santorno ·
В ожидании первенца
And now it's all about them, we never have alone time anymore it's always "lets go hang out with them and do this with them" , I beg to just have alone time and he will invite them in front of me so I can't say no.
deleted-user·
My MIL is also a crazy person and casually mentioned how she's going to take my DD on vacation with her in a couple years.
I don't even let her watch her alone because she doesn't respect me and she goes against what I say all the time. Plus, she's just not that good with my DD. My DD is never happy when it's just them one-on-one. She screams and cries, which she doesn't do with people she feels comfortable with.
But, because she is my MIL and DF's only Mom and one of DD's grandmas, I make it a point to have her over once a week to visit. I am always there though. I don't address the fact that I won't leave them alone together, because there's no need to.
I think it's great she's back in your life, but you make the rules about your baby. Don't want her or SIL to babysit? They don't have to, ever. I wouldn't keep them from your baby though. Just supervise and make very clear boundaries. If they don't respect those, like "we don't curse around my baby", then re-evaluate. Let them know if they don't respect you, they won't be allowed over. Once we stood up to my MIL, her act changed real quick.
deleted-user·
That is an issue with your husband, not your inlaws.
Your husband needs to realize he is now married to you and you and his child should be his priority. I encourage my husband to have healthy relationships with his family but if there came a time when they were disrespecting me or our children, he would choose me any day.
There was even a time when I was dead wrong but he took my side. I later apologized (to his brother and to him) but I knew my husband had my back. He told me he thought I was wrong but he stood by me when I said his brother wasn't welcome in our home. And of course that isn't the case any longer.
Your husband needs to hear you out and put his foot down. If he wants a relationship with his family he needs to set rules. No bashing you ever.
He also doesn't need to tell them any problems you two have. Every couple has arguments but ours stays between the two of us and we resolve them as a couple. If he runs to them with every issue of course they won't like you. They will only hear bad things and won't be around when the two of you make up.
You two need to have a serious talk about your relationship. Let him know you aren't trying to make him cut his family out, you just want some respect.
Then when the baby gets here you can address your concerns with him about his family when they actually want to keep the baby.
(Lots of times I got myself worked up over nothing and his family disappeared before we even had to deal with certain issues. Try not to let yourself get sucked into the bottomless pit of inlaw drama before it happens. My husband's family used to do the same thing to me. I don't let them bother me anymore. I tell my husband to take care of it and he does.)
?
deleted-user·
Ignore them and deal with it when it comes , and if your a stay at home mom it won't ever have to come if you don't want it and you know that so just smile and laugh not agreeing just a nod and smile