Cheating Husband? A week or so ago I was using my husbands phone to text his mom and I came across…

I don't think you are overreacting at all. If he was flirting and asking to hang out the intent to cheat is/was there. I would definitely be very nervous as well that he could actually go through with it. As well it is extremely disrespectful for him to do that. Me personally I am not sure I would be able to get passed that.

However if you are wanting to make it work I definitely think you both need to sit down and have a serious talk. Find out why he was looking outside of the relationship. Is there something missing? Maybe it can be fixed. I definitely wouldn't just drop it and hope for the best. There needs to be discussion and some sort of resolution if you want to stay married.

I find it very rude and disrespectful for any married man to be texting another woman that their wife doesnt know about, especially if he was straight up flirting with her!! I would sit him down and tell him how you feel about it!! If your having second thoughts always trust your gut.. im srry your going through that op

Thanks for responding ladies, I am planning on sitting down with him and talking about it tomorrow hopefully. I have felt him being off basically ever since I got pregnant which was a month after we got married. We have been together for 3 years but I have for sure been feeling our relationship become distant.

I am so sorry to hear that this is what you are dealing with when getting married and having a child are such major milestones in your life. You are not at all over reacting. This is not a very good way for him to be showing his commitment at the beginning of what should be a life long marriage. Good luck ?

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I know that feeling, sadly. My situation was a little different, but finding something that makes the mind wander can really need with a woman. My new rule, no going through my husband's phone/computer.

My advice would be to keep talking to him. This is serious even if he is just blowing it off saying he didn't do anything... of course they will deny it, why would he tell you, ooh ya you caught me I'm a cheater. If it was me I would suit down and talk with him, ask questions like how did he met her, what is his intention, does he like her, will be stop talking to her, etc. Don't interrogate, but tell him that you understand needs/desires. All of there is something you can do to keep him uninterested in other women. People have crazy desires and some cannot control them. If he was intending to meet with her, seems like he was intending for something to happen... so better to stop this before he does cheat.

If you are religious, pray about it together. I really hope that it was just harmless texting.

I don't think you are over reacting at all, and don't feel bad about looking through his phone. I go through my husbands phone just because of curiosity, I trust him though, but he is weird so I get a kick out of his conversations.

My advice is to sit down and discuss it with him. Maybe even have it where you can check his phone and track him (him being willingly) to help ease your mind until you feel you can trust him again. Not the best advice but it's what I know would make me feel more comfortable in his whereabouts.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's hurtful and very disrespectful.

Me personally, I have no tolerance for any type of cheating. Anything that has to be kept a secret from your partner is considered cheating in my book. There is no reason or excuse for texting another woman. That's just my personal opinion. Forgiving is "easy", forgetting is not. I know I couldn't live with the constant fear of him doing something (I speak from experience, my ex cheated on me).

My husband and I got married 6 months ago too and I trust him, he has shown me that not all men are the same. He has the same beliefs as I do. I agree with PP, there is no reason for a married man or woman to meet one on one with a person of the opposite sex (innocent or not). It's inappropriate.

So sorry, I wish you all the best and I hope he doesn't take this second chance you are giving him for granted! Hugs!

Has he shown any signs of remorse for his actions?

Ive been through this time after time. I know how you're feeling right now ?

I would never allow it. Openly flirty and asking to hang out is out of bounds.

I rarely check my SO's phone because In 2014 when I was pregnant with our first daughter (my second daughter but his first) I went through his phone, (he left it in the car with me while he went to get his tag) and he messaged a girl with a ghost face emoji and she responded with "hi mi amore" (hi my love in Spanish) I calmly told him when he returned to the car "don't for a f*** ing second think I won't leave you, pregnant and all I have no shame, I'll walk out of your life and your going to send me ghost emojis too" of course he panicked and I confronted him about the messages. Whatever it was so minor I let it go, but ever since then I've occasionally checked his phone to find nothing. So I trust that incident made it very clear where I stand in our relationship. I put him in his place before anything happened.

I'm so glad that I did because I come to find out later that he had in fact had sexual relationships with this girl in his past. She was the neighborhood hoe.

Very rarely do I go through his phone now but if I get an intuitive feeling I just do. And if I were to find him having an open conversation with another woman in that manner I would not give him any benefit of the doubt. I'd leave him. Because we agreed to not have an open relationship and I don't speak to other men, he should respect that as well. Same as I'm pregnant and I don't go out and party soooo he's not gonna go out and party either. It's a 50-50 and that should always be respected.

The rest of my opinion is a Tmi alert : trigger warning may offend some people.

My situation can get a little different considering that I'm bisexual and me and my SO, like to meet other women and date them together. And in this case if were both dating a woman then I find it OK for him to openly communicate with her as long as I'm involved like an example group text messaging. The line would be cross if I wasn't involved and he was giving his attention to another woman behind my back. That's a total sign of disrespect for our relationship and in a more conservative relationship I find it even worse.

I guess my point would be not to just let it go. If it is a first time thing you should confront him. I think you should give him an ultimatum and I think you should let him know that there's no second chance, and the behavior won't be tolerated because it's a sign of clear disrespect for the relationship. You should also give him a chance to justify the emotions that caused him to do it. Maybe he found some boredom in the relationship which is normal maybe there is something you guys need to work on give him a chance to express that.

If he's done this before in the past and you have forgiven him it's not something that you could change because he knows that you're gonna let it slide bye. And if that's the case then it's definitely your call what your next step would be.

Hope I was helpful and I'm sorry that you're going to that, and please forgive any typos I'm using the microphone to dictate.

Ever since I found out he has been very different. I can't tell if he is just sucking up to me or if he really is remorseful. We have had good conversations about it and I told him I needed to know if he was sexually active with her because if so it could possibly put our baby in danger and he promised me he didn't. I believe him that he wasn't physically intimate but now I'm just having problems with the emotional aspect. It's hard to have trust in someone when they lie about stuff like this. I really want to believe it was just a lapse in judgement but I don't know how to trust him anymore. We have been together 3 years, he earned my trust within those years. But within seconds he lost it all. I just don't know what to do.

Emotionally cheating hurts just as much in my opinion. To me, it's the same thing as physically cheating.

You are not overreacting! If he doesn't see the harm he caused this time, he will just continue to do it. Trust me, I've been there. For 3 years, I gave my life to a man who never loved me. I didn't learn who he really was until we were married. It was horrible and the emotional damage it caused sucked. I hope your situation turns out differently but you should know that what he's doing isn't a reflection on you. You're still a gorgeous, strong woman. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

Maybe go spend a few days with friends or family to think things over. It will also be a major wake up for him. This s*** is not tolerated and makes me want to leave. It sounds super suspicious and he totally intended to cheat with trying to make plans to meet up. I'm not sure I could move past that breach in trust either.

I am so sorry you have to go through this while pregnant. My boyfriend did the same exact thing a few months prior to us finding out we were expecting. He swore up and down he didn't do anything but it still eats at my brain every single day. Ever since he came that close to losing me (I'm so glad I decided to stay now

because I have my wonderful son on the way) but ever since then and since we found out Jace was on his way into this world he has been everything I ever dreamed. He changed his phone number deleted his Facebook and doesn't hide any messages or delete any history anymore. I hope your SO straightens up for you and the baby like mine did but even if they do it's still so hard ? my heart hurts for you. Sending all my support. ❤️

No you are not over reacting. He should not be texting a woman asking to hang out.

I'm sorry you are going through this! I hope you all work it out and that he won't do it again.

UPDATE: We had a very good conversation about it and we have decided to work it out. He is now aware that if it happens again that I'm not going to stick around to give him another chance. This is his last chance to prove to me that I am enough for him and that if he wants to be with me he will have to earn back my trust.