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Renee

You know you have children when...

You know you have children when...

You get to work and notice that your pants have smudges of unidentifiable origin from the knee down. ?

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deleted-user

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When you look forward to the next kid consignment sale

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You are not phased when 2yro DD cries because the "Let It Go" music video has Demi Lovato in it instead of Elsa.

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When you give him a bath & you end up looking like your the one who took a bath with all your clothes instead of your child. -_-

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You know you have kids when sleeping in means 7:30 am

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When 1 glass (or sometimes bottle) just isn't enough ?

Edit: Also, when you have to reheat the same cup of coffee at least 3 times ☕️

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When you have to turn your spare soon to a play room because toys were taking over your living room.

When you get used to have a foot in your face whenever you sit down to relax. - ds always needs to put at least 1 foot in my face always.

When you sweep and mop your kitchen floor at least 3 times a day after your kid eats.

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They ask you to hold something, only to realized you just took their buggers

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When you can't use the bathroom in peace.

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When you finally get to spend time with other adults and the only thing you can talk about is your child ?

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When you're on the phone and see your toddlers hand go from his diaper towards his mouth and you drop the phone screaming "no no no no no!!!" Luckily my mom thought it was hilarious and I caught him in time ?

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When you go to pay for something and pull out a toy car!

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When your pockets are full of wrappers!

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When you only get to watch kid shows because of your kid, but baby is finally asleep and you get excited about Octonauts being on.

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You see a lump in your shirt and find a tiny baby sick stuck to it with static! How many people saw that lump and didn't say anything?!

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When you start looking in your purse for you keys, but first find a few toys, hair bows, colored kid menus from random restaurants, peanut butter crackers, and old fruit snacks before finding anything that actually belongs in your purse

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When getting barfed on twice in a day doesn't even phase you anymore.

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When you leave the house, covered in all kinds of little human bodily fluids and don't give it a second thought until hubby is like ?

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When you have so many crayons in your purse that you could be a spokesperson for Crayola ?

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When your kids have been quite for to long n find them covered in sugar with the box next to them

Seriously just happened?

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Instead of money in my purse I have coupons, pacifer, burping cloth, diapers and a baby book.

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When your phone is Full of baby pictures yet when some one asks to see a picture, you have to scroll to find the best one...

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When you have to catch yourself before you start talking to adults like toddlers. " Silly ----!", "Tickles", etc.

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Finding random items in the bath tub & toilet ? (usually my stuff)

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You go to get a pan out and you find a ton of toys in the pots and pans.

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Silence makes you anxious.

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When 9:00 is your official bedtime.

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When your un-potty trained toddler flushed the toilet and you frantically look around the bathroom to see what just went missing forever...

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When you find your new shoe insoles in the dogs water bowl.

And your trinket box in your boots

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When you are watching kids TV and realise you don't have your children with u lol

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When your child finally poops after a few days of not pooping and it excites you. ?

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Or asking "Did he poop?" is a normally asked question to your SO.

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When your kid, who is playing quietly, asks if you're tired. You answer yes & kid proceeds to stop playing, get up, chase the dog, jump on the couch, and yelling loudly.

You can't go potty alone.

You have to plan adult conversations (phone included) for when the kids aren't awake or home.

You know all the Pokémon & My Little Pony characters. And all the words to kids songs.

Sleeping in until 7 is a blessing.

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deleted-user

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-When you're trying to talk on the phone/to another person and sound like you have tourettes. "How was your -DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!- day?"

-When you catch yourself talking to your SO like they're your toddler.

And adding to an earlier comment -not just reheating the same cup of coffee, but when you open the microwave to heat up your kids lunch, and finally find your coffee from hours ago. ?

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deleted-user

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When your whole life and everything in it is covered in breastmilk.

When you get a new cloth diaper in the mail and can't wait for your kid to soil their current diaper so you can use the new one (after prepping it, of course).

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When you find yourself saying "because I said so" after you told yourself you'd never be that parent ??

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When showering becomes a chore. ?

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When you do not remember when was the last time you been asleep ive been awake 12 hours and counting im one tried mama

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When you put on paw patrol for the kids and end up realizing you're the only one still watching

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When you find soggy food in the bathtub.

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When you find a Storm Trooper key chain/flashlight in the toilet and the kid who CAN open the toilet blamed the baby ?

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Hmm...are we sure those "smudges" are from your children? ?

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When you have to tell your baby "we don't eat the dog's ear!"

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When you've literally just opened your eyes in the morning and mumble "I can't wait for bedtime"

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When you find yourself singing the lyrics out loud or in your head to your kids cartoons or movies.

For example.. All I've had in my head all day is 'come on Andy's dinosaur adventures, hey join the crew!'

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When you have to make a bottle,and a pancake for your older child with one hand because baby doesn't want to be put down! (And no baby wasn't near the stove,held her on my left side and turned sideways to keep her farther away from stove)

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deleted-user

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Your shirts are always stained

You carry baby wipes everywhere

In relation I your pant story my son was holding onto my leg crying before work and when I got to work I noticed I was covered in snot! Ugh at least my patients are dogs so they don't care lol

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deleted-user

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When your car smells like McD fries and you haven't eaten there since Christmas!!!

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When spontaneous love making doesn't exist anymore??

When you are obligated to share your food because even though your child has the exact same thing on their plate yours just looks better to them for some reason????

When they become your best friend because you don't have any spare time for your adult friends anymore??????

When you realize that your child is that someone you and your spouse would walk through fire for, protect at all costs and even die for❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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when you go shopping and realize you've spent all of your money and have nothing for yourself

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When you accidently miss your own doctors appointment because the only thing on your mind is running to The store to get some diapers.

When you randomly find hidden sippys with rotten milk in it, and you can't find your keys but you can find wipes and butt cream.

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deleted-user

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When you and your spouse can spell like lightning so your toddler doesn't pick up on political or social issues you don't want her worrying about. She talked about ebola and zika for a while.

Then your toddler grows into a preschooler who can spell anything and you resort to spelling in pig latin, and the little twerp figures that out too.

I'll talk to you about the Brexit when she goes to college, hon.

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When you second guess buying anything for yourself but you see something for you child and you don't even think twice about it.

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When your childless coworker asks why you have a Baggie of crackers and a broken Xbox controller in your back seat

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When you wonder what that weird smell is, and it's a crayon in the oven...

True story. Thanks twerp. How do I clean wax off an oven? Lol

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When you take a nap and wakeup only to find SO asleep and corn dogs all over the floor.

Or milk and cereal.

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When you know all the lyrics to your child's favorite show ???

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MomLittleHero, just let it cool completely and it will resolidify. You should be able to chip it off or pull in up in pieces.

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When they think your food is better than theirs and they end up eating it so you have to eat theirs haha

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I second the food issue. My dd steals my food and snocones :(

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When you have to constantly remind your no-children friends why you can't just leave your house at 11pm to go out for the night. Were going to sleep!

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When getting ready to leave the house take a full 4 step plan!!!

When u feel like a lunch lady cus u making all them plates.

When u don't even close the bathroom door becus ur whole crew (kids) is with u.

When ur hair is combed n ur clothes r clean n u feel like u deserve a ???.

When u gotta sneak ur own snacks cus u don't want to share. Lol.

Ok I'm done ?

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deleted-user

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I almost woke up my little ones laughing at the potty flushing one!

So many of these are so true!

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You're a pro at cutting sharted in panties off your toddler ?? weve had tummy issues the past few days. No poop has fallen onto the floor though..

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Thanks ?? I'll try it lol

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when a shower that you get to wash your hair AND shave, feels like a mini holiday.

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When you just give up on consuming hot coffee.

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Everything you eat/drink is freezing.

'Stress' becomes your middle name.

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When your child has had breakfast & lunch and you haven't even ate yet for the day.

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When eating their left overs usually becomes your replacement lunch

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When your alarm clock is no longer what wakes you up.

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When supermarkets become your chill out place.

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When perusing target by yourself is almost equivalent to a vacation.

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When cartoons is all you see on your TV

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When someone else's child vomits on you and you don't even change your shirt! This happened to my sister the other day and I was dying laughing.

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When having somebody else's puke on you doesn't gross you out anymore.

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You tired when u wake up n the morning.

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You happily go grocery shopping just so you get quiet time alone!!!

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3am no longer feels like the middle of the night ?

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Washing your hair is a luxury

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When you no longer need to set an alarm to wake up.

When your car is now filled with things to keep children entertained.

When you start saying things you never thought you would ever have to say to anyone for example "don't even think about picking the dogs nose" ?

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You no longer buy yourself nice things and spend it on the kiddos instead, you enjoy the holidays much more, you find yourself daydreaming of leaving to an island when the kids drive you nuts, ohhh..I could keep going lol

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When you are eating then baby poops, you clean up poopy baby then go back to eating ( after washing hands of course lol) as usual.

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When you have to do everything one handed cuz baby is being clingy

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When you go shopping, it's not about shopping for yourself anymore. Always you end up going to children section,

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When you smell like milk from when your baby spit up on you ???

Bye bye perfume

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When you own enough children's clothes to dress an entire army of children, but you wear the same 4 outfits until you start looking like a hobo

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"Don't lick the potty!" feels like a perfectly normal thing to say.

You can't go to the toilet without an audience.

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When all 3 kids are dressed nicely for the family reunion and you end up forgetting to dress yourself and show up in a regular shirt and shorts..

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When you wake up and literally count how many hours are left until bedtime.

When movie night involves one too many musical numbers.

When you keep a special pair of gloves in the bathroom to fish random objects out of the toilet.

When you become an expert on the different colors /textures of ?.

When the Gift Card your friend /family member gets you ends up being spent on a new toy, finger paint, a Veggie Tales DVD and a cute onsie ...... So much for a yummy scented candle and that phone case you were eyeing the week before.

When "cage-free eggs" means broken eggs on your kitchen floor!!!

When naptime at 3:30 a.m. is a thing.

When your coffee cup is occasionally occupied by your favorite wine ?.

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Mmmm wine...... Lol when a fall becomes oh no blood ur good.... Said at least ten times a day

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When you are Juggling a 1 year old, a million grocery bags, your diaper bag and your car keys and someone asks if you need help. "No thanks, I do this all the time!"

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When you put cartoons on for the kids but your the only one watching them

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@nat my husband and I always automatically tune the tv to their channel. It's crazy how our brains work.

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When the doctor asks for you DOB and you give them your kids instead ??

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When the doctor asks for your DOB and you give them your kids instead out of habit ??

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When your proffesor asks if he can borrow a pen and when you reach inside your purse you find socks instead ? happens all the time lol my professor justs laughs at me

Or when you have to sneak in the restroom bc my 2year old cant leave me alone for 5mins ?

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When you find a chicken nugget in your shoes

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You lick/wipe off crumbs, smudge or whatever the hell is on their mouths lol and hey hate it

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When going to the groceries by yourself is like a mini vacay lol

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When you hate Wal mart alone.

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